The Trip to Texas

I have come away from this trip with one main thought: I love my family. I love my family. In this case, it was my dad's side of the family; they are loving, intelligent, interesting, funny, hilarious people!! Having such an awesome family made this trip so much easier and so much better.


I left Wednesday afternoon and flew to Dallas. I was fortunate that I was able to find a decent priced ticket to DFW. It would've been about $1000 more for me to fly straight to Lubbock! My cousin Kyra was flying to Dallas from Tampa a little earlier, so her mom, my aunt Char (who lives in Dallas), picked up Kyra and then me. I hadn't seen either of them in four years, when all of us spent Christmas in Lubbock at my granddad's. It was great to see them. Kyra is a year older than I am, and while she and I have never gotten to spend a ton of time together, we always have such a great time when we are together! Char is also really cool. She's fun, but I think the thing I appreciate most about her is that she's really honest and straightforward. She's not rude or tactless at all, but if we're talking about something or I ask about something, she's just always honest and real about it. I think that's awesome.


The three of us left Thursday morning to drive to Lubbock. The viewing/visitation was Thursday evening at the funeral home, and we wanted to get there a little while before that in order to get to our hotels, change clothes, etc. We spent the entire 6 hour driving talking about all kinds of stuff, but a lot of it was family stuff.

I think possibly the most surreal experience of my life happened a little outside of Lubbock. We're driving along, and we're in the left lane because we're about to pass a truck in the right lane. Char was driving, Kyra was in the passenger seat, and I was sitting behind Char. As our front bumper is nearly along side the back bumper of the truck, I happened to look in the side rearview mirror of the truck. And I saw my granddad. Plain as day, it was him. It was totally, absolutely his face from about 10-15 years ago, not so recently when he'd started to decline. Kyra was in the middle of talking about something, but I just talked right over her to say, "Kyra, look in that mirror." She was absolutely silent, and I could tell that she saw it too. She reached back and grabbed my leg and I grabbed her hand. Neither of us could speak. We just kept staring at this image of our granddad in the mirror. Char finally asked what we were looking at and Kyra just said, "Mom, I'll tell you in a minute," because she just couldn't even say it yet. Well, of course, Char couldn't have guessed that we're seeing our granddad in the mirror, so the only thing she could come up with was that the man driving the truck was somehow exposing himself!! (We could never figure out how that was even possible unless he had something really impressive to show off. LOL) All this time, Char had stayed about the same spot next to the truck because obviously something was going on. It took Kyra another minute to tell her mom what we were seeing, and then Char could kind of see what we were talking about. I'm sure the angle she was looking at made a difference. And then Char had to tell us what her original thought was! We got a good chuckle out of that, which helped to break the intensity of the moment a little. The funny thing was, when we finally pulled up next to the truck, other than maybe the slant of his nose, the driver looked nothing like my granddad! It was just so unbelievable to see his face like that. If Kyra hadn't also seen it, I would seriously doubt that it actually happened.

So we got into Lubbock okay and we all got to our hotels, so on and so forth. The visitation went well. I got emotional when I first saw my granddad in the coffin. He looked alright, considering the weight he'd lost recently. But it was still hard. For the most part, things were light-hearted enough. I was happy to see other family. I was still glad when it was over, though. Sometimes it's awkward to just stand around and try to talk to people that I don't really know.

After the visitation most of us grabbed some food and went back to the house. I had to work really hard when we first got there to not get emotional about being there and my granddad not being there. We all just kind of relaxed and ate and joked around. I love being related to funny people. :)

The funeral was Friday afternoon and the church that Granddad went to was kind enough to provide lunch for us before the service. There was some family that didn't arrive until late Thursday night or Friday morning, so that gave us all a good chance to visit. I have to admit that when it comes to my dad's side of the family, I think I'm a little biased towards Memaw's side than my granddad's. We've always spent more time with them, and frankly, I think they're more fun. So I was a little bummed to be seated with people from my granddad's side, but we still had nice conversations.

The actual funeral service was... perfect. Wonderful. The first person to speak was Steve, one of my granddad's nephews from Oklahoma. He had lived with my grandparents when he was in college in Lubbock and had worked with Granddad on the farm during that time. He had written my granddad a week before, mainly just to say thank you. Granddad had never gotten to read it, so Steve read part of it as part of his remarks. He had beautiful and funny things to say.

My cousin Kyra had made a list of things that she'd learned from our granddad. It was also beautiful and funny. I had talked to her that morning and she said that she'd tried reading through the list as practice and only made it about half way through before breaking down. I offered to stand up there with her if she thought that would help. So that's what we did. I didn't say anything and Kyra ended up doing a wonderful job.

The last person to speak was my second cousin David. He had also lived with my granddad while he was in college, only about 5 years ago, and had also worked out on the farm with him a little. David and his wife and their baby are actually getting Granddad's house. I think that's a pretty cool thing. David also spoke about things he had learned from my granddad and some of what he said overlapped a little with what Kyra had said, but he also had a lot of good, unique things to say. It was so beautiful. It was one of those services where the people who speak really knew the person, so it's wonderful and heartfelt and true. I cried a lot, as did most of us there, but it was the kind of funeral that Granddad deserved.

From the church we went to the graveside little service, and then the family went back to the house (with many of us making a quick stop to change clothes). We ordered pizza and sat around eating and visiting. After dinner we had the interesting task of starting to divide up my grandparent's things. It actually started out on a light note because some of us started joking about treating it like a white elephant gift exchange! A number of things had already been promised to people, so those things were claimed first. After that it was kind of a "first come, first serve" sort of thing. I'm sure in a lot of families, that could be a recipe for disaster and conflict. There were certainly moments when it could have turned into that, but I'm so proud that people just let things go and didn't argue about any of it. We were going through the house both Friday night and a good chunk of Saturday, but everyone was just really great about it. There was only one thing that had already been promised to me, which I claimed quickly, but there were some other things that I also took - a few pictures, a few Christmas ornaments with my name on them, a couple pieces of Memaw's crystal, and a couple other things. I'm happy about it. :)

So that kind of sums things up after the funeral. We did a little more sorting and claiming and such on Sunday morning/early afternoon. Mom, Char, Kyra, and I finally left Granddad's house early that afternoon to go eat some lunch. We were starving. I didn't really take the time to say good-bye to the house when we left. It would've been too hard. And, who knows, maybe I'll make it back some day.

My cousin Robin (Char's other daughter and Kyra's older sister) had suggested an Italian place in town, so the four of us headed there. It was called One Italian Guy from Italy or something like that. It didn't look like much, inside or out, but the food there was pretty good! We all ate way too much, but it was so good and we were so hungry. We also had some really good conversation. I love visiting with my family!

After our late lunch, we went to see a woman who's my aunt, biologically speaking. You can read more about what I'm talking about in this previous post. So, the one sister, Joann, actually lives in Lubbock. I met her once before, but I was a baby, so of course I don't remember it. So this was basically going to be the first time we've really met. We've talked before about going to see her when we're in Lubbock, but it's just never worked out. But I had told Char and Kyra on the way to Lubbock that I felt like we should go see her while we were there. (They're in touch with her regularly.) I don't know if or when I'll make it back to Lubbock, so I figured that if I was ever going to meet her, it needed to be this trip. So we went. We only stayed for about an hour and Joann did most of the talking. But she was really nice and funny and I could tell that she was really happy to meet me. I got to see some old pictures of the family when they were kids and of my biological grandparents. Kyra hadn't even seen them before, and she was kind of excited because our grandfather and her have the same nose, and she'd never known where it came from before! I think stuff like that is kind of cool.

Anyway, when we left Joann's house, I had to say good bye to Mom because Char, Kyra, and I were leaving town from there. (If you're on Facebook, there's a picture of Mom and me where I'm trying not to cry.) I was glad that I got to spend some time with Mom, since it was going to be summer before we saw each other again.

So the three of us ladies got on the road again, heading back to Dallas. It was another really good trip with great conversation. No surreal moments this time, though. We ate dinner at Whataburger in Abilene. It was cool to drive past where I went to college and see the new building they recently finished. I also really enjoyed Whataburger, although it's a good thing that they're not here in Canada because the food is SO not good for me! I think they're mainly in Texas, really.

To sum up the rest, it was late when we made it back to Char's house and we were all tired, so we went to bed fairly soon after getting there. We left early the next afternoon for Char to drop Kyra at one airport and then me at the other. I love them.

I have an idea in my head to try to plan a family get-together for the summer of 2011, probably in Oklahoma. It would be for my paternal grandmother's side of the family, which - like I said before - is the side of my dad's family that we all know better and have spent more time with. I've told a few people, and so far everyone seems to like the idea. We all enjoy being together so much and we all hate that it only seems to happen at funerals. So I'm going to change that! I'm already looking forward to seeing all these great family members again. :)

Sad

My granddad in Texas died Sunday night. We all knew he was declining, losing weight, and getting weaker. The doctor even told him that he wouldn't live much longer. But I thought he'd make it through the holidays. I feel okay about him passing. He was 94, and he died peacefully at home. He died the way most people wish they could die. He knew his time was coming, and he was ready. He'd made his peace with everything and everyone.

I have a lot more I want to write, but I leave today to fly to Texas. I only have a couple hours before I leave for the airport and I still have to shower and finish packing. So additional blogging will have to wait.

I'm heartbroken that my granddad is gone because I will miss him terribly. I'm also looking forward to seeing a lot of my family. I'm sure I'll have a lot of stories when I come back.

Work Stuff

So we've moved to our brand new office building that we specifically built and had designed for us. I'm so glad that the move is over with! Here's a couple pictures of my new office:

We don't have blinds yet, but we will. My office faces west, so I get some nice afternoon sun. As of Friday, we also didn't have our chairs, so the one in the pictures is not the one I'll actually have. I want to have a cork board on the wall above my desk (adjacent to the window), but that leaves me with two other walls to decorate (the one opposite from the window, next to the doorway, and the one next to that). I don't plan on putting anything on the wall next to the window. I'm hatching a plan on what to hang on those walls, but nothing definite, so we'll see what happens.

The other big work-related news is that they got rid of my co-worker Mari on Tuesday morning. I think pretty much everyone else saw that coming, so I'm hoping Mari did too. Candy (our manager) had me helping to unpack and organize the kitchen while they told Mari, so I didn't even see her before she left. Candy said she took it okay, and maybe she did. I would've expected her to pitch a fit or fight back about it - or both - so I was a little surprised that she didn't.

Candy and I had a really good conversation Tuesday before I left. She's only a couple years older than I am, so it's easy to feel like we're equals, but she's also been there a while and has a lot of knowledge about what we do, so it's also easy to see her as my manager. Kind of nice, I guess. Anyway, we talked about who would do what and what would happen going forward. They plan on hiring someone on a contractual basis for about a year and a half to take over the biggest piece of what Mari did (and some other things too). But that big piece belongs to a program that will be ending in a year, so we'll only need someone for a certain amount of time. Candy said that the new person will probably be brought on in January, so we'll be muddling along in the meantime. There's one particular piece of Mari's job that I'll be taking over for good. We had planned on me learning it anyway, so now I'll just be learning it sooner!

As much as Mari and I would crack each other up sometimes, I'm glad that she's gone. It had just gotten to the point that I didn't want to deal with her any more, and neither did anyone else. Every day I'd go to work thinking, "What is it going to be today?" because there was always something that would go wrong or blow up or whatever. It's really just a big relief to not have to deal with Mari any more. I hope she lands on her feet.

This and That

I'm watching Sunday Night Football. It's the Eagles at the Bears. I hope the Bears win, but I have my doubts. They're just not cutting it this season. Dang it.

Things, for the most part, are still going well at work. However, the one thing that is really the rock in my shoe - and other people's shoe - is my co-worker Mari. She has got some serious issues and it's really starting to interfere with work. She's still doing her job relatively well, but it's getting to the point where no one wants to work with her or deal with her. She and our manager, Candy, had a huge blowout Friday right at the end of the day. I was away from my desk, so I don't even know exactly what happened or what was said (or yelled). But I think that Mari is digging herself a hole that she's not going to be able to get her way out of. She was already on probation (the disciplinary kind, not the initial kind) before the incident on Friday, so I don't really know what will happen now. The only reason I want her to still be employed with us at this point is because it's going to be a huge hassle for us to have to take over her job and try to find someone else. But I think that might really be the best thing at this point - short term pain for long term gain.

Master and I are still struggling. Still trying, but still struggling. We do have an appointment one evening this week with a marriage counselor. I'm hopeful that it will help. And the bonus that comes with that is that my extended health benefits cover the first 12 hours of counseling for free, so we don't even have to pay for it at this point! I definitely appreciate that. I just hope it'll really help us move forward and grow closer.

In case I miss this later in the week (since it's not a holiday up here and I'll be working): Happy American Thanksgiving everyone!!

Chinese, Anyone?

As I mentioned in my last post, I recently completed my three month probationary period at work. As is standard in this organization, at the completion of probation, the new employee is given their official job description, goals, etc. (They have a specific name for it, but it's a little unusual, so I don't want to mention it here on the off chance that someone from my job Googles it or something.) I already pretty much knew most of what we went over, so there weren't any big surprises. I met with my manager, Candy, this past Thursday afternoon to go over how things have gone so far and what the expectations are going forward. The meeting - which lasted a couple hours - went really, really well. Apparently, everyone that I work with loves me! :)

As part of the meeting, an interesting possibility came up for something that I might get to do in the future. But first, a little backstory to explain. Our organization has been finding recently that a growing number of our members/customers are not native English speakers. We have a couple people who speak French (which, frankly, doesn't come up that often) and we have a woman who is originally from India, so she can help out with others who are also East Indian. However, that certainly does not cover all the different languages that we encounter.

A certain amount is budgeted for all of us in the organization for individual professional development. It's typically used for a management course, a computer class, etc. I'd had a thought a couple weeks ago: what if I used my professional development to try to learn a new language that would help in communicating with our members? So I brought up my idea to Candy in our meeting, and before I could even completely get it out, she said, "What about Mandarin? Could you learn Mandarin?" She was so excited about the possibility! It made me feel good that I'd thought of it and suggested it, and I certainly like the idea of being that much more indespensible to the organization. But I have to admit that learning something like Mandarin is a little daunting, mainly because we're talking about a language that doesn't even use an alphabet. I mean, at least when I was learning Spanish, it's using the same basic alphabet, even if there are some differences. With Mandarin, I'd really be starting from scratch. But I like languages, and I usually do well enough with them, so I'm trying to keep that in mind. In any case, Candy told me to look into it and let her know what I find. So I might be learning a new language before long!

I am actually going to try to blog

It's Friday night and I am soooo glad for that and the chance to sleep in!! I don't feel like I've been sleeping all that well the last 2-3 weeks. I'm not even sure why. Part of it is Master, but certainly not all of it. In any case, I'm tired tonight and it feels like one of those nights when I'll sleep well. Yay.

I've learned in the last week - as many of us have because none of us are there and didn't know - that my granddad's health seems to be going downhill somewhat. He's 94, so it's to be expected, I guess, but it's still upsetting. He fell last week one night before bed and didn't have the strength to get himself off the floor, so he spent the night there until my second cousin (who's staying with him while she goes to college a couple blocks away) found him the next morning. He didn't break anything, which is good, but the rest of it is bad. He apparently just doesn't have any strength at all at this point. He's going to have to have home health care and such. One of my cousins is going there this weekend, so I guess I'll know more after I hear from her. I just have the feeling that it's only a matter of time now. Truth is, I've felt for a while now that my granddad is ready to go. Even when his health was still okay, I felt that. It breaks my heart to think of him dying, but it also kills me to think of him having to live a long time in pain and not being able to care for himself. So, if he's ready, I'm trying to be ready too.

This past week marked three months at my job and therefore the end of my probationary period. (You know, the typical probationary period that comes with most new jobs.) The biggest that comes with that is that my benefits have kicked in, namely my drug coverage. I'm so happy to not have to pay full price for all of my diabetic stuff now!

My job is still going quite well and I'm happy to be there. My one co-worker, Mari, is still the cause of drama, and maybe more so now than before. I'm starting to wonder if she'll even be around a whole lot longer. She does a good job, but there's so much "other" that comes with it... I just don't know. I don't really want to take on more work at this point, having just gotten all of my normal duties under my belt, but at the same time, I think it would be a relief if she wasn't around any more. However, either way, I'm still very happy with my job and I really do enjoy the people I work with. Yay!

Sorry, folks. I just haven't much motivation to blog lately. I'm sure I'll come back around to it eventually.

Happiness!!

I just found out that Barbara Kingsolver has a new book coming out!! I can't wait!!

How Nice

Nice rose, eh? My manager, Candy, bought one each for Mari and me yesterday. Candy's been gone for almost all of the last few weeks because of travelling around to all the regional meetings. Our organization holds them once a year and our team deals with programs that are directly for the members, so she was one of the few people who went to them. Mari and I did get to go to the one here in Edmonton, though. Anyway, the roses were Candy's way of saying she was proud of us and to thank us for doing such a good job while she was gone.

So work is going pretty well. I'm getting more into the meat of what I'll be doing. It's a lot to get under my belt, but I'm looking forward to it. I'm ready for more than just the easier stuff. Mari still drives me a little nuts, but it helps to have Candy back in the office. At least that way Mari can ask her stuff, bounce ideas off of her, and all that kind of stuff instead of directing it all to me. I mean, we all have questions and ideas, but this is different. As in, I can't give her an answer, so she's just going to keep talking about it. Really, for the most part, I like Mari, and she and I just crack each other up sometimes. But sometimes I also want to tell her to just go away and stop bugging me.

I know I'm still not blogging a ton. It just seems like I either don't have anything to say, don't have the energy to say it, or don't want to blog about what's going on. I think things are going to be okay for me, but the last few months have just been bumpy. Good thing I don't have a weak stomach for bumps, eh? ;)

Crappy Thanksgiving

Yesterday was Thanksgiving here in Canada. How was mine? Well, I celebrated by puking 3 times. I have a day off from work and what do I do? I get sick. I think I'm okay now, but I still haven't really eaten anything, so I stayed home today. I'm also not sure if this was caused by something I ate or some kind of bug, so I also don't want to spread it around in case it is a bug. I was told not long after I started my new job that if I'm sick I should stay home, because no one wants to catch stuff. In fact my manager said, "If you come to work when you're sick, I will send you home!" So, I'm staying home today. Ah... good times.

Finding Clothes

I'm not a big fan of clothes shopping. I have the potential to be, but between being plus-sized and always money conscious, there's only so much shopping to be done. So far, I've only found one store up here that has clothes that fit me. That's not a huge issue, really, because when I lived in the States, I really only shopped at one store there too. Here's the difference, though: in the States, I shopped at Lane Bryant, which has fashionable clothing. Up here, I've been shopping at Pennington's, which has some fashionable clothing, but also has a lot of clothing that looks more appropriate for someone twice my age. As I said to Master last night, "I'm not a fashionista or anything, but I don't want to dress like an old woman!"

Sometime after I moved here, I ordered some things online from Lane Bryant. At that time, they shipped to Canada. A couple weeks ago, I decided to order again because I was getting frustrated with not being able to find some things here that I really wanted. I went through the website and picked out everything I wanted. When I go to check out, only then do I discover that they no longer ship to Canada! I would have been pretty ticked off, except that... I have a Mom who loves me. :)

I called Mom and asked if she would be my personal post office on this occasion - if she was willing to let me ship the box there and then she turn around and ship it here, and I'll reimburse her for her cost. She said yes, of course, so I was still able to get my clothes. The box arrived yesterday. Everything fits well - which is the benefit of shopping at that store so much when I lived in the States - the exception being a pair of pants for work that are a bit too long, despite me ordering them in Petite. But that's a fairly minor thing, since it can be easily remedied.

So... what to do? There's a store here that I should check out a little more, but I'm not sure they have clothes in my size either. Master said I should go to West Ed Mall, since there are stores there that aren't anywhere else. I might try that, but I'm not convinved that'll get me anywhere... except to WEM! I suspect that in the end I'll just end up doing the same thing - getting what I can at Pennington's and ordering from Lane Bryant (or shopping there when I'm close enough to one in the States) when I can't find it here. That's just sure not the ideal solution to clothes shopping.

Security Advice

I got this from Mom today in an email. I hadn't really thought of some of this before (partly because Master and I don't have a GPS) but it's good info, so I thought I'd pass it along.


This gives us something to think about with all our new electronic technology.

GPS
A couple of weeks ago a friend told me that someone she knew had their car broken into while they were at a football game. Their car was parked on the green which was adjacent to the football stadium and specially allotted to football fans. Things stolen from the car included a garage door remote control, some money and a GPS which had been prominently mounted on the dashboard.

When the victims got home, they found that their house had been ransacked and just about everything worth anything had been stolen.

The thieves had used the GPS to guide them to the house. They then used the garage remote control to open the garage door and gain entry to the house. The thieves knew the owners were at the football game, they knew what time the game was scheduled to finish and so they knew how much time they had to clean out the house. It would appear that they had brought a truck to empty the house of its contents. Something to consider if you have a GPS - don't put your home address in it. Put a nearby address (like a store or gas station) so you can still find your way home if you need to, but no one else would knowwhere you live if your GPS were stolen.

MOBILE PHONES
I never thought of this.......
This lady has now changed her habit of how she lists her names on her mobile phone after her handbag was stolen. Her handbag, which contained her cell phone, credit card, wallet... Etc...was stolen.

20 minutes later when she called her hubby, from a pay phone telling him what had happened, hubby says 'I received your text asking about our Pin number and I've replied a little while ago.'

When they rushed down to the bank, the bank staff told them all the money was already withdrawn. The thief had actually used the stolen cell phone to text 'hubby' in the contact list and got hold of the pin number. Within 20 minutes he had withdrawn all the money from their
bank account.

Moral of the lesson:
Do not disclose the relationship between you and the people in your contact list.
Avoid using names like Home, Honey, Hubby, Sweetheart, Dad, Mom, etc....
And very importantly, when sensitive info is being asked through texts, CONFIRM by calling back.

Also, when you're being texted by friends or family to meet them somewhere, be sure to call back to confirm that the message came from them. If you don't reach them, be very careful about going places to meet 'family and friends' who text you.

Where has the time gone?

Life is just flying by. Much like the weather. Edmonton has apparently decided to skip fall this year. I think we skipped spring too. A couple weeks ago we set a record for the heat; it was in the mid to upper 90's, I think. This morning it was -2 C when I left for work and I had to scrape a light layer of frost off of my car. That makes me kind of sad.

Work is... work. I'm still quite happy with my (relatively) new job, but I'm still stuggling with some of the drama. One of the people that I work closely with, Mari, has some issues. She's smart and is good at her job, but she has issues. She's negative and a little paranoid and possibly a little bi-polar or something because she's SO up and down. It wears on me and kind of wears me out. Our manager, Candy, is fully aware of the situation, as is the HR person. They're trying to make things better. Mari even knows how she is a lot of the time, but that doesn't necessarily help. I just hope things change. I like this job and I don't want her to ruin it for me.

I think Master and I have sorted things out. We've started over a little. We had a nice little dinner date last night. We had sex the other night for the first time in about two months. We're just not willing to give up. I feel better about us than I have in quite a while. :)

Bad Day Funny