Friday, June 30, 2006

Taking It Back

I am taking back my blog. It's just occurred to me in the last couple days that I've been... mincing words when I post. But why would I do that in my blog? I told Master not long ago that this is like a diary for me, but more than that. I wouldn't mince words or try to be polite in a diary, so why would I do it here? So consider this a warning - some posts may be different from now on. Because, by golly, if I want to talk about Master getting me off over the phone, then I'm going to talk about it. And if I want to talk about him calling me his little whore and I loved it, then I'm going to talk about it! Now, of course, there will still be random posts about my squirrel - whom I haven't seen recently - and movie reviews - which I'll have some of after the long weekend. But this is my blog, dang it, and in the end, this vehicle of rambling is for me more than any reader. I don't want it to become a burden or an obligation or something where I have to censor myself. This is where I can tell the things that I wouldn't call up and tell my friends about because the stuff is either too boring and random or too personal or too risque. Or whatever the reason.

People, I'm taking back my blog.

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Thursday, June 29, 2006

I had a lot of trouble getting to sleep last night. I was mad and I couldn't get my mind to turn off. I had been talking to Master on the phone while I was in bed before I went to sleep and after a while our conversation got... heated (in the good way). I was in the middle of an X-rated sentence when Master starts talking... to his son J who's now walked downstairs into Master's room. I hadn't even heard J ask whatever question he'd asked, but he's supposed to raise his hand first when Master's on the phone anyway. And then he wouldn't leave the room. By the time he finally did, I was not happy and neither was Master. But we kept talking and I chilled out and I was talking to him about picturing being curled up there with him... when the same thing happened again! So now I'm really mad, and I'm not even sure who at or why, I'm just so mad.

It wasn't until later that I figure out why I was so upset. Initially I was mad because J was interrupting and being bratty about it. But I stayed mad because in both cases, we were right in the middle of heavy conversation, and in both cases I was right in the middle of a sentence, when Master started talking to J. It's like pouring your heart out only to find that the other person wasn't really listening. That hurts. Even now when I think about it, I feel like dirt and I feel invisible.

At least I have an Owner that listens when I explain why I'm upset, and he doesn't automatically assume that he's right and the blame always lies with me. (There are some really arrogant and rude Dom men out there. I don't do well with them. lol) I know that whatever is going on, we can talk about it and deal with it, rather than letting things build up. That's one thing I really love about our relationship. And it's something I really love about Master.

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Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Blood, Sweat, & Tears

I was on my hands and knees. I was sweating. I was making strange grunting noises. I even have the day-after carpet burns on my knees.

And I got all of that without any of fun normally associated with those things!

I put in my new modem last night, but only after a lot of hassle, trial and error, and complete panic on my part. Thank God for Master. I cracked open my puter and was ready to get started. I was so proud of myself when I figured out which part the modem was! I mean, no one provided any helpful diagrams or pictures, so I was on my own. I took the old one out and started trying to put the new one in. It wouldn't go in all the way. And it wouldn't. I pushed harder. It wouldn't. I started crying. I took a break, ate some dinner, tried again. It wouldn't go in!! It was so close, it was just a last little smidgen left! I was starting to panic, imagining not being able to have internet access at home for the next six weeks, losing my main communication with Master. The crying then turned to ugly, shaking crying.

Master called to help when he got home from work, since this is what he does for a living. At first he couldn't quite figure it out either. I thought I was doomed. He finally had me try something to where I could figure out that the problem wasn't the modem itself, it was the metal piece attached to it. So I took that off. As it turns out, the very bottom of the metal piece is shaped every so slightly differently from my original modem, and that's why it wouldn't go in quite far enough. Adios, you panic-inducing piece of metal! My modem isn't braced like it should be, but it's in and it's working, and that's what matters. I did feel better once I realized that the problem wasn't me being an idiot.

As upset and panicked as I was, I was so glad to have Master on the phone. He kept telling me to relax, and not in that annoyed kind of way or that "stop being a silly girl" kind of way either. It seems like when I'm my most upset or spazzed out is when he's the most calm and patient with me. Just what I need. By golly, there's a reason he owns me. ;)

My TV is better too. Between Master and his dad - who used to repair TV's and such - I think my electronic things will be okay. Now I can enjoy my upcoming long weekend with internet access and a fairly normal TV. :)

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Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Sacrificing to the storm gods

Sunday night we had some storms roll through here. From the forecast it didn't look like it was going to be any big deal, and in the grand scheme of storms, it probably wasn't. I went to bed and was finally starting to drift off when there was this sound and a flash. For that first split second, I thought something had exploded outside my window. Then my internal organs crawled back into my body and I realized that it was just a really, really close clap of thunder and lightening.

The next morning I get up and I'm getting ready for work as usual. I try to get online, but I keep getting a message that my modem is either busy or not working. I check my phone line and that's okay. (Yeah, I still have dial-up, but only until I move!) I just figure maybe it's a fluke because something like this has happened a couple times before since I've had my puter, and it's always fine later. But it's not fine. As Master is later able to determine for me, my modem is now fried.

My first sacrifice to the storm gods.

Yesterday after I get home from work, I start my laundry and then sit down to watch some TV while I eat dinner. For a second I thought maybe I'd inhaled some laundry detergent. The color was really off in a couple corners of my TV. I thought (I hoped!) maybe it was just the channel. Changed the channel... nope, it was my TV. Crap.

My second sacrifice to the storm gods.

Fortunately, it looks like my TV might only be a temporary sacrifice. Master knows more than I do about this stuff, and he told me that unplugging it for a while might let it re-set itself. Or something like that. So keep your fingers crossed that it works when I get home today (with my new modem).

While talking to Master before bed last night - thank God for IP phones! - I realized that I only have 6 weeks left in this country. I knew when I was moving, but it still hits me sometimes. And I'd never said it out loud quite like that. I even cried a little. It's a big deal to leave my home country knowing I'm never going to live here again. I'm not scared. It's just big. But it's so worth it, knowing that I'll get to wake up with Master every day. :)

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Sunday, June 25, 2006

Hot Bath & Warm Mom

The funny above is the one my brother sent me that I couldn't post before.

I tried to take a hot bath last night before bed. It only served to remind me why I never take baths any more. I made the water as hot as I could stand it, and then a little bit hotter. I put in some old bath salts I still had around. I got in slowly because it was so hot, but once I was sitting down in the tub, it was actually pretty nice and I relaxed quickly. Oh, if only it had lasted. After a while, I start realizing that the part of me that's not in the water is sweating. Yes, the water was that hot. My other problem, and the real reason I don't take baths, was that I had been sitting with my legs straight and my feet at the end of the tub. Once I start relaxing, my legs bend... and Suzy starts sliding down the tub. There goes the relaxation.

Things didn't get better once I got out of the tub. The plub for my bathtub is crap, so I actually had to use my comb to pry it out so the water could drain. Then I propped my foot up on the side of the tub to dry off one of my legs... and my foot slipped and landed in the tub. Thankfully the only casualty was a corner of my towel. The real fun was when I realized just how hot I'd made the water. You have to realize, I'm typically warm by nature. I'm a hot-blooded kind of chica. It was like the hot water got my temperature all wound up and it wouldn't come back down! Twenty minutes after I got out of the tub I was still sweating! I think at that point I saw my relaxation running off into the night screaming.

Mom and I had our usual weekly Sunday afternoon chat today. I was a bit nervous as I hadn't heard from her since her long email earlier in the week. The day after that I had sent her a short email basically saying that I'd given it a lot of thought, prayer, debate, and discussion with Master, and this is what we're doing. I never got a reply. So I wasn't sure what today's conversation would be like. It was a relief when she didn't bring it up, so I sure as heck didn't either! I will say something for my mom. She is reasonable, logical, and intelligent. She'll push when she thinks she needs to, but she doesn't push too far. I know how much she loves me and cares about me and that she worries about her only daughter. But that's okay with me. :)

You know what would be great right now? Not a hot bath.

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Saturday, June 24, 2006

sucks to be a girl

Yes, it's that time of the month. Oh, how I love swollen, tender breasts and feeling bloated. Right. The real highlight is always cramps. The cruel irony of it is that orgasms actually help the cramps go away for a while... right when I'm feeling my least horny. Master has told me a few different times that he's so glad that I'm the girl. Yeah, well, all of you men frickin' better be glad.

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Friday, June 23, 2006

My Brother

Well, I was trying to insert a funny that my brother sent me today, but apparently Blogger hates pictures tonight.

About my brother... he and I are very different people in a lot of ways. He's not quite four years older than I am. He is intelligent, almost to a fault in my opinion. It's as if he's got so much in brains that he had to come up short in relating to others to make up for it. It's not even that he's some horribly socially awkward guy. He can be cordial and polite when he wants to be. I think it's actual relationships that he struggles with. I know he has friends, but I've never met them, so I don't know what he's like towards them and around them. I really only know how he is with family, and the vast majority of the time, he's crappy towards his family. For those of you who read about my trip back with Master when he was in town, you read about my brother's ridiculous behaviour then. There was another time a couple years ago when we went to Granna's house to visit with our aunt, uncle, and two cousins from California who were visiting. We hadn't seen any of them in a few years. I consider us to be lucky because I really like all of our extended family and I enjoy spending time with them. What does Brother do? He goes into one of the bedrooms to sleep, gets up to eat dinner, and then leaves to go home. Most of the time my brother is fairly selfish and thoughtless. Most of the time he forgets my birthday, like he did this year. When we get together at Christmas, he usually tells Mom and me that he forgot to bring our gifts and he'll have to send them later... and then, of course, never does. I'd rather he just say he didn't get us anything. Although, to give him credit, he said that this past Xmas and then did actually send the gift about a month later, even if I'd already gotten the same thing from Master since I didn't think I was getting it from anyone else.

I guess what it boils down to is... I don't understand him, so it's difficult for me to have much of any kind of real relationship. He lives most of his life in his own little world and he seems to have trouble thinking of anyone else beyond it. I love my brother and I care about him. I just don't like him a lot of the time.


Favourite Memory I

(I've decided that I'm periodically going to share some of my favourite memories, mainly about Master, but other things too.)

One night during Master's very first visit here last year, I couldn't get comfortable. I was hot and I just couldn't find a comfy spot. (I can't imagine why not. Two adults in a little twin bed - what's the problem?) I was getting cranky because I couldn't sleep. Master took me by the hand and led me out to the living room where it was a little cooler. He sat down at one end of the couch and told me to lay on my back with my head in his lap, which I did. Then very softly, very tenderly, he started touching and caressing my face. It instantly made me relax and calm down. He made me feel so special just by the way he touched my face. No one has ever touched me like that. He just kept touching and stroking my face until I finally fell asleep with my head in his lap. I could feel him watching over me, taking care of me. It was so wonderful, so intimate.

I love you, Master. :)

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Wednesday, June 21, 2006

O Brother

Thanks for the comments, everyone. They really do help.

As some of you may (or probably not) know, I'm not usually a big fan of my brother. I'll go into why that is some other time. I got a random email from him this morning. The subject? Flaming rainbow of doom. It was because he wanted me to see this. So I replied and told him about the thing with Mom right now. It went like this:

You might have to be the good child for a while. I told Mom a couple days ago that I'm definitely moving in with (insert Master's real name) when I get to Edmonton and it's not just about the money. Needless to say, she's not real thrilled. I get to be a disappointment to lots of people! Yea!!

A while later I got a reply from him. It actually made me smile. My brother did something right! This is what he wrote:

What, are we competing for how many relatives we can simultaneously disappoint? :-) Don't make me pull out the big guns!

I'm kind of afraid to know what his big guns are, so I'm not going to ask! But it was nice to feel a little comraderie with my big brother in this.


Monday, June 19, 2006

Living in Sin

Game 7 of the Stanley Cup just started. Go Oilers!!

Yesterday when I was talking to Mom, she was telling me about one of the ladies at church that was asking how I was doing and if I still had all my plans to move to Edmonton. Then the lady launched into a whole thing about how she hopes I don't move in with Master since we're not getting married right now and how I've always been a good example, so on and so forth. This lady has known me since I was 10 and I like her. I know she means well, and I know she's just saying what a lot of people there are thinking. I know that she loves me and cares about me and just wants the best for me, so it doesn't bother me that she's telling my mom this. I've told my mom that it's possible that I'd be moving in with Master because it's entirely possible, and actually pretty likely, that I won't have a job when I get there. But I've never said for sure one way or the other... even if I already knew.

So yesterday afternoon my mom tells me all this, but doesn't really ask and I don't really say anything. But after we hung up I decided to send her an email. I flat out told her that I'm moving in with Master when I get there. Yes, part of it is practical, because I likely won't have a job, but more than that, I won't have an SIN (like an American SSN), so I won't be able to fill out an apt. application or even open a bank account. I also told her that there was more to it than just the practical reasons, but I didn't really go into that because I'm not sure she'd want to know. I knew she wouldn't get it til today, since I had to email her at work. (Because she still doesn't have email at home.) I got a reply this afternoon while I was at work. She didn't say much, which isn't unusual. She wants me to make sure I'm doing the right thing. She did ask if I get a job and my SIN, whether or not I'm going to move out. She wants to make sure I'm not going to be "stuck." I replied and told her that I'm not going to move out even once I have a job and my SIN, that there's more to it than just the financial reasons. I told her that I know it's not what everyone wants for me, but I can't live my life based on what everyone else wants, that I just have to do the best I can for me. And I told her that I'm not the least bit worried about being stuck.

I didn't hear back after that. She may have already gone home, or maybe she just doesn't have anything to say in response. At least now she knows for sure and I don't have to keep skirting the issue.

Part II:
I got another email from Mom this morning. This time she had a lot more to say. She told me she cried in the shower last night, which making me struggle not to cry at work now. I hate knowing I'm hurting her and disappointing her. She asked if it would make a difference if she sent me money for a deposit and first month's rent for an apt. in Edmonton. She went on to say a whole lot more, including quoting scripture, but I won't bother trying to repeat it. I guess I don't know how to tell her that things are just different for me now. I just don't want to struggle any more. I can't, I just don't have it in me any more. Struggling for her approval, struggling to be the good example, struggling to survive on my own. I played by the rules for a long time and it left me broke, lonely, and depressed. I have to take a different path.

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Sunday, June 18, 2006

Father's Day

I always kind of dread Father's Day. I was Daddy's little girl growing up and I loved my dad very much. He was a good man. People sometimes say I'm a lot like him, and I know they always mean it as a compliment. He could get along with everyone. He had a great sense of humor. He taught me, by his actions, that we're never better than other people. We lived in a upper-middle class neighborhood and I can remember him on a hot summer day, taking a can of Coke out to the garbage man and then helping him load the trash in the truck. A little thing, but it always showed me that everyone is a person and everyone appreciates even small gestures. He had a great sense of humor too. He could pull of the kind of expression where you weren't always sure if he was joking or serious. I could usually tell, but there were a couple times I wasn't sure if I was actually in trouble or if he was just giving me a hard time! My favourite was when he would be having a sincere conversation with someone and would pause to say, "(Insert person's name here), you know what I like about you?" The other person would ask "what?" expecting a compliment. My dad, complete with straight face, would reply "Nothing."

My dad died when I was 17 of a heart attack. (Damaged organs and a shorter life span - another bonus to being diabetic.) It was a week before I started my senior year of high school. It's been almost 11 years, but sometimes it still hurts too much. I try to use Father's day to remind me of all the good things about my dad, and my grandfathers. I always send my grandad in Texas a card. But sometimes it's hard not to be a little bitter on Father's day, a little jealous of everyone that still has their dad and can spend time with him.


Thursday, June 15, 2006


So, yes, I named my plant. I bought Haley my senior year of college right after Christmas break. I'd gotten back to school and was missing my baby Elmo, since, of course, I always left him at home with Mom while I was in school. So I bought Haley when she was a little thing at Super Wal-Mart in Abliene. I couldn't have a pet there, so I got a plant instead. That's why I named her. She's a tough little plant too. She went to Ohio with me for the summer and then back to Abilene that August for my last semester, since I was on the 4 1/2 year plan. I almost lost her on the trip back to Ohio that December after graduation. I'd remembered to take her into the motel for the night in Missouri, but left her in the car when we ate dinner in Indiana. But she survived! And she moved with me here. At first it looked like I wouldn't be able to take her with me to Edmonton and I cried. But now I'll be able to! Anyway, here's a picture of Haley and Elmo from a few years ago.

Look at me dragging the picture!! :)

On a completely different note, I have to wonder if Britney Spears realizes what a joke she's become. A part of me pities her and a part of me wants to smack her. Out of morbid curiosity, I watched her interview tonight with Matt Lauer. I can't even come up with the words to describe her. Bubble gum space cadet white trash kind of something? Her pregnant boobs were literally falling out of the tiny little see-through top she was wearing. Thank God she was at least wearing a bra. More than anything, I feel bad for her kids. Between her and Kevin, they don't even have a chance for normalcy. Or class.

Look at me being catty!! :P

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006

My Squirrel

This picture didn't turn out as well as I'd hoped. It looks like a caught a bit of a glare. But nevertheless, this is my squirrel back in April chowing down on a leftover muffin! And that's my plant Haley right there inside the balcony.

By the way, does anyone know how to insert pictures in the middle of a post? Do I have to insert it and then type around it?

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Big Fat Lie

I was diagnosed as a Type I diabetic when I was 11. My dad was a Type I and my brother is a Type I. When I was diagnosed, people like to tell you that you can go on living a normal life and be just like everyone else. And for people who first meet you or pass you on the street, it would certainly seem that way. But living a normal life with diabetes? Big. Fat. Lie. There is nothing normal about sticking a needle in my body 4 time a day to inject insulin and pricking my fingers 3 or 4 times a day to do blood tests. When I go anywhere, whether to work or to a friend's house or on a trip, I have to plan ahead and take any medication I'll need with me. If I'm going to be anywhere for any amount of time, I have to make sure that if my blood sugar gets low, that I'll either have something with me or be able to get to something that will bring it back up. This disease is something that is, and has to be, constantly on my mind.

Yesterday morning I woke up at 5 AM with low blood sugar. I took a blood test and it was 49. So I had some cereal. Since I was already up and awake, I just figured I'd take my time getting ready for work and maybe get there a bit early. Then the headache set in. I ended up calling in sick for work because I had such a migraine by the time it was time for me to leave. I went back to bed and didn't get up again until 1 PM. Even then I still had a headache that went all the way down my neck and was making me a little nauseous. I hate that my life gets thrown out of whack because of being diabetic. It pisses me off. This is supposed to be living a normal life? Big. Fat. Lie.


Sunday, June 11, 2006

I've never even been in a fight!

My nose is crooked. I'm not quite sure how that happened. Maybe it's always been like this and I just never noticed.

It all started a month or so ago when Master and I were looking at some pictures he'd taken during his last visit here at the end of March. There were a few that he'd taken when, uh, he was on his back and I was further down his body and, um, doing something that had my face kind of, uh, pointed downward... you get the idea. Looking at these pictures was when we kind of noticed that my nose looked crooked. I just chalked it up to the angle of my face and/or camera.

Then yesterday I was thinking of it again and actually took a good look in the mirror at my nose. It's crooked! It leans a little to the left. The good thing is that when I'm, uh, doing those things to Master, I don't think he's paying much attention to it. ;)

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Saturday, June 10, 2006


Today has been a quiet Saturday and I like it like this. I was watching some TV this morning and then had music playing while I straightened up the kitchen a bit and cleaned my tub. Then I sat down to read for a while and turned everything off. (I bought a book in the airport in Ohio last Sunday - The Effects of Light by Miranda Beverly-Whittemore.) I think sometimes I forget how nice it can be to have the quiet. It's not silence, because there are still the noises from outside and whatnot. But it's quiet. I can hear my thoughts better. My head feels clearer. Sometimes it's so nice just to be quiet.

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Thursday, June 08, 2006

Centenial Post

This is my 100th post. Whoop de do for me.

I haven't gotten laid in just over 2 months and I have to wait just over 2 months to get laid again. That really sucks. And not in the good way. :(

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Tuesday, June 06, 2006

End of the Trip

I hate to disappoint my readers, so I'll tell the idiot cabbie story! There is a taxi company in the Chicago area that's fairly large and I've used them several times. They've got flat rates going to the airports, which is part of why I like them. I called from the airport after I got my bag to have someone pick me up, and there's a spot outside each terminal to go for prearragned taxis. My cab arrives and before I even get in, the guy is asking the couple other people waiting if they're going the same direction and do they want a ride. Nobody really said anything, so we left. The idiot didn't know why no one jumped at the chance to ride with him. I don't know if the others waiting knew this, but I'd actually had a previous cabbie tell me that it's illegal to solicit riders in that spot, and he mentioned it because we'd just watched someone get pulled over for doing so!

So the idiot pulled away from the curb without looking and nearly caused accident #1. I haven't even been in his car for 2 minutes and I wanted to bail. We keep doing and I notice that he's paying more attention to his cell phone that where he's driving. As we come up from under the terminal, our lane merged with another and that's where the idiot almost caused accident #2. I actually considered telling him to pull over right then and there and finding another cab to take me back to my car.

I was telling him the main road near where I work and he kept asking me how to get there. I told him the best way I knew to get there, which only involved 3 roads including the main one I'd already mentioned. He didn't know how to get there. I don't expect him to know the exact address, but when I tell someone exactly how to get there, I don't figure it'll be a problem, since all 3 roads are fairly common, major roads in the area. He still missed the turn for one road and we had to turn around and go back. Stupid idiot.

I asked him to drive into the parking garage where I work so he could drop me right at my car, which was just inside the entrance to the garage. He stopped right at the entrance and said he couldn't go in because of the antenna on his car and that it costs $45. I don't care! I didn't even look at the dang antenna when I got out, I just wanted to get away from him and get home as quickly as I could. I just gave him the money and walked away.

So, I made sure to memorize the cab number even while I was still in it so I could call and complain. I called today from work. I gave the man the cab number and my destination and he confirmed my last name. I told him what all had happened, and he even said that soliciting the other riders was illegal before I'd even gotten it out. So, I figured if nothing else, I had good reason to call because the idiot was breaking the law! What I didn't expect was that the man on the phone took my address and said they'd send me some sort of compensation. I just wanted to get the guy in trouble, I didn't even think about getting something for it, but of course I didn't turn it down! I figure if I don't use it in the next 2 months, I'll give it away. So that's my idiot cabbie story.

I heard an Oasis song on the radio on my way home from work today. I'd forgotten how much I liked their music. Well, at least what I've heard of it.

I told my boss today that, it's tentative, but I think my last day there is going to be August 4th. She was said, but it makes me happy to know I'm getting closer to going home with Master!! :)

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Monday, June 05, 2006

The Trip

WARNING: The following post is ridiculously long.

This past weekend was really great. I'm so glad that I went! I could ramble a lot about it, but I'll try to stick to the highlights. Please forgive me if I stray.

Thursday night was nothing much except I was hot the whole night. The airport, the flight, the other airport, at my Mom's... all hot. And not the good, attractive kind of hot. I must have cooled off sometime after I fell asleep.

Friday I got together with Meat for lunch. We had planned on grabbing something from a local deli and going to the park, but it was raining so we went to Applebee's instead. I have such memories of that place. lol On the way there, Meat said she was so happy for me and Master, that she'd been praying for me, and she started crying as she said it. That guy she'd just started dating? It's already over. Unfortunately, Meat had gotten attached pretty quickly because he was just so right; he'd even already introduced her to his family, their kids had played together, stuff like that. So, a lot of lunch was her bemoaning the fact that it was over, even though it'd only been about 2 weeks. Apparently the guy decided that maybe he still had feelings for his ex (and the mother of his son) and it wasn't fair to Meat to keep dating since that was the case. Besides, that we talked some about other stuff, and her kids are always good for some laughs. They're just cuties.

I spent most of the afternoon in my Mom's basement going through a lot of the stuff I have stored there. I found some stuff that I'd been wondering where it was, like my high school diploma and a set of chimes someone gave me several years ago. I'll have some more boxes to take with me in August, but it's best to do it then when we have a Uhaul!

Saturday was a really good day. Mom and I left the house about 9 AM and went to pick up a good family friend, Allen, because his wife Melanie, son Jake, and daughter Mandy had driven down the day before because Jake was one of the groomsmen. Allen's an ER doc and had worked all, gotten off at 7:30, and was now going to spend 4 hours in the car with us! Apparently the tired doesn't hit until later because he didn't sleep at all and the 3 of us talked the whole way there. It's about a 4 hour drive to Belpre, which is way down in SE Ohio, literally right on the Ohio river across from WV. The drive, mainly the last half or so, was very scenic and through the hills. You pass some of those homes with sheds where You can almost see someone's granpappy in there making his moonshine!

Anyway, the wedding invitation had the wrong number in the address, but we still got there about 10 minutes before it was to start. We saw Melanie and Mandy in the parking lot and they took us into the big room in the church where the reception would be. We got to hug Jake inside as well as Daniel, Jiffy's husband, who was also a groomsman. We went down the hall to the foyer just outside the auditorium and saw Jr., Jiffy's older brother and another groomsman. We also saw Jiffy's mom. It was the two of them that told me that they'd kept it a secret that I was coming, so Jiffy didn't know that I was going to be there!

I guess they'd decided to make the auditorium mostly dark except for the from where the wedding would actually take place. Mom and I sat down right before Jiffy got up to sing. She wasn't looking around much and since it was dark, she didn't see us at all. I nearly cried when she started singing. It had been so long since I'd seen her and I love hearing her sing.

The ceremony itself was really nice. Jiffy's dad performed it, since he's a preacher and can do that kind of thing. It's kind of nice because then it's so much more special and meaningful. I'd never even seen Matt's fiance before, but she was very pretty. I think I heard something about her being homecoming queen. But that's not a big surprise because Matt is a good looking guy and is great at everything! He was even nicknamed Mr. Perfect because it seemed like no matter what it was, he could do anything, whether athletic or creative or whatever.

After the ceremony was over, there were immediately people there wanting to hug me, people I used to go to church with in Ohio and my mom still does. Apparently Jiffy's dad finally told her that there was someone she should see back in the auditorium. I was hugging someone else when she walked up and tapped my arm, going "my turn!" We hugged and held on for dear life. We both started crying, the kind of crying where you're making little sounds when you breathe. Three years was too long to not see each other. I have never had a friend like Jiffy and may never again. We used to do everything together. We never had to explain things to each other, we always just knew. We were - and are - part of each other's families. Even on saturday, when Jiffy's dad was introducing Mom and me to Jr's wife - whom we hadn't met even though they married last year - he introduced me as Jiffy's sister and my mom as Jiffy's second mom. :)

Anyway, the reception was fun and relatively casual. Just cake a little finger food. I didn't get to visit with Jiffy nearly as much as I wanted to, partly because she was cornered in the bathroom by her aunt talking to her for 20 minutes! And, of course, there's a bunch of other things going on and other people wanting to talk. But it was still so great to see Jiffy and all of her family, my second family. Matt introduced me to his now wife, Christi, and I was really impressed. She knew who I was almost before Matt said my name. She said, "I saw you sitting next to Jiffy, so I knew you had to be Suzy!" She was incredibly sweet, so it seems like Matt chose a good chica.

It was just Mom and me on the drive back. Eight hours on the road and a wedding makes for a long day, but it was a good one. Mom and I are so used to being on the road together. All those road trips between Ohio and Texas when I was in college made sure of that! We had a really good laugh on the way back when I received a text message from Master on my cell phone. See, my mom has asthma and she's not used to the sound my phone makes. I had it in my purse, so it was kind of muted, but she took a deep breath right as it made it's little sound and for a split second Mom thought she'd popped a lung or something!! It's probably funnier if you actually hear it, but we both got a huge laugh out of it. :)

Sunday morning we went to church. I haven't been going to church on my own for a few years, but I still go with Mom when I'm at her place. Say what you want about religion and churches, but there are a lot of people there that I love. You can find hypocrites in any religion if that's what you're looking for, but there are also a lot of good people. These are people who've watched me grow up and love me. These are people that want the best for me. They always seem to see all the good things about me and don't mind so much about bad things. These are people who knew my dad and can still see him in me. I like that. That's what home feels like.

So, I guess that covers most of the weekend. I was going to tell about the idiot cab driver when I got back, but I feel like I've been typing for about five years, so I'm going to leave that off! But I am calling to complain about him tomorrow. If I feel brave, I might post another picture once I get the film developed since I finished the roll. So stay tuned, you all might get another glimpse of me!

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Sunday, June 04, 2006

Sunday Evening

I'm back. I had a great weekend. Except that I wanted to kill the taxi driver from the airport back to work where I'd left my car. But I'll get into everything later when I have the energy to type it all. :)