Thursday, June 29, 2006

I had a lot of trouble getting to sleep last night. I was mad and I couldn't get my mind to turn off. I had been talking to Master on the phone while I was in bed before I went to sleep and after a while our conversation got... heated (in the good way). I was in the middle of an X-rated sentence when Master starts talking... to his son J who's now walked downstairs into Master's room. I hadn't even heard J ask whatever question he'd asked, but he's supposed to raise his hand first when Master's on the phone anyway. And then he wouldn't leave the room. By the time he finally did, I was not happy and neither was Master. But we kept talking and I chilled out and I was talking to him about picturing being curled up there with him... when the same thing happened again! So now I'm really mad, and I'm not even sure who at or why, I'm just so mad.

It wasn't until later that I figure out why I was so upset. Initially I was mad because J was interrupting and being bratty about it. But I stayed mad because in both cases, we were right in the middle of heavy conversation, and in both cases I was right in the middle of a sentence, when Master started talking to J. It's like pouring your heart out only to find that the other person wasn't really listening. That hurts. Even now when I think about it, I feel like dirt and I feel invisible.

At least I have an Owner that listens when I explain why I'm upset, and he doesn't automatically assume that he's right and the blame always lies with me. (There are some really arrogant and rude Dom men out there. I don't do well with them. lol) I know that whatever is going on, we can talk about it and deal with it, rather than letting things build up. That's one thing I really love about our relationship. And it's something I really love about Master.

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Blogger Prismiad said...

it's certainly not that I wasn't listening, he was just too close for me to keep up my end of the conversation without him hearing it.

I didn't mean for you to end up feeling that way my baby girl, you are the most important thing in my life and you always will be, even when a bratty kid or a gunshot takes my attention away for a moment.

Isn't it wonderful how she tells me how things make her feel? I bet you guys wish your girls did that, and girls please tell your guy, we sure as heck can't figure it out on our own.

June 29, 2006 3:21 PM  

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