Saturday, July 29, 2006

Favourite Memory 3

When Master came to visit for the second time, back in March, it had been nearly a year since his first visit, although I'd been to visit him a couple times since then. Our relationship had gotten so much deeper in that time. I could feel his ownership growing, and my submission to him was finding new ways to express itself.

One day while he was here, we got to do something we'd talked about. He sat on the couch, naked, with his legs spread enough for me to sit on the floor between them. I sat facing him, scooting in close. I took his soft penis in my mouth, not sucking, just holding it there, resting my head on him. I could tell by his sounds that it felt good for Master. He started just softly stroking my hair. I could feel his care and tenderness. It was perfect. We stayed like that for a long time. I could feel my deep connection with him and submission to him. I never wanted to leave that place.

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Thursday, July 27, 2006

Local Animal Planet

I saw my squirrel today as I left for work. The last time I saw him was a few weeks ago. He was trying to eat nuts from my balcony but he kept running away. I couldn't figure it out until I saw a robin fly at him. I thought it must be a fluke; a robin wouldn't be going after a squirrel, right? A bit later the squirrel was up on the railing, just frozen. I didn't know what he was doing. Then the robin dive bombed at him! I knew that wasn't a fluke! The robin was going after my squirrel! My little furry buddy ran away and that was the last I saw of him...

... until this morning. I had just gotten in my car to leave for work when I saw him in the tree in front of my car. He was kind of peeking out, and I was thinking "Crap, I knew I should've put peanuts out this morning." Then as I'm looking at him, this robin flies in straight at my squirrel! Again! My squirrel runs off... again. I don't know what the heck my squirrel did, but that robin is PISSED. They say elephants never forget. Apparently robins don't either!

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Wednesday, July 26, 2006

I sound like an old house

The underwire on one side in the new bra I'm wearing has started to creak.

Can people see this color font okay? How about this one?

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Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Favourite Memory 2

My paternal grandparents are Memaw and Dad. Memaw passed away 6 years ago, but Dad is still alive and (relatively) well in Texas. He'll be 91 in October! He was supposed to be called Granddad, but when my oldest cousin was little and trying to say it, it just kept coming out Dad. And it stuck.

I went to college about 3 hours away from Memaw and Dad. At one point - I can't remember if it was my sophomore or junior year - Memaw had to go into the hospital for open heart surgery. Afterwards, she wasn't recovering quite like she should've been. Mainly because she wasn't eating enough and wasn't doing her breathing exercises like she shouldn't been. She just wasn't feeling that great. I drove up one weekend to surprise her and Dad while she was still in the hospital. I'd only called ahead to let my great aunt, Memaw's sister, know that I was coming. It was fun to surprise them, and I know they were happy to see me.

At one point Saturday, I was sitting on the edge of Memaw's bed, chatting with her. We were the only ones in the room for a bit. She was talking about how sweet Dad had been to her through all this. And I'll never forget what she said. "He can just run his hand across my forehead and it makes me feel better than anything else." I had to fight back tears. It was so beautiful. I remember thinking, "Now that's what love is."

When Memaw died, she and Dad had been married for 62 years. I count myself so blessed to have had an example of love like that in my life and in my family. Even later, after Memaw had a mild stroke and couldn't get around as well, I remember Dad sitting on the couch with her stretched out on it, her head in his lap, and he'd just hold her hand and stroke her hair. It was so precious.

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Sunday, July 23, 2006

The Weekend

Meat and her boyfriend K got here about 10:15 Friday night. It's the first time I've met her new man, so that was nice. He wasn't super talkative, but that's not completely surprising. For one thing, Meat can be pretty talkative, so I'm not surprised that she might hook up with a somewhat quieter guy. Plus, the poor guy is stuck staying with someone he's just met, so that might make me a little quieter too.

The three of us visited for a while and then went to bed. Meat and K spread out my sleeping back on the floor and slept on that with some sheets and blankets. While K was in the bathroom getting ready for bed, I - being the nosey friend that I am - asked Meat if they'd done it yet. She said no, and that K wouldn't until/unless they were married. I said, "So is he still a virgin?" She said that he is. I was surprised, but impressed. Meat said that impressed her too. I was surprised that they would actually sleep together knowing they can't have sex. That would just be too hard for me. But, more power to 'em.

I told Master that I was such a dork after I went to bed. I'm relaxing and starting to doze a little, forgetting that there are other people there, when one of them coughed. For a split second I was freaked, thinking "holy crap, there's someone in the next room!" LOL

The next morning we got up and were all getting ready. A few other people that we went to school with that are in the area were going to meet at my place and then we were all going out for breakfast. Two of our friends had actually gotten married, so they came with their little 1 year old son. Our other friend was supposed to meet us, but then it turned out that she overslept and was only awakened when Meat called to find out where she was! So the 5 of us and the little one when to IHOP. It was fun to catch up. I've stayed in touch with so few people from high school, but Meat and these other two have stayed in touch with more of them. More importantly, the married couple with us are still friends with an old classmate that seems to be in touch with half the class! The fun part? Apparently two guys from our class are having a little contest between themselves to see who can find the strangest website with a classmate. lol Of course, my first thought is, "Dear God, please don't let them find my blog!" But there's not enough identifying info here for them to find it in a random Google search, so I'm not worried. However, the winner in their contest so far, can be found here. Oh my gosh, I laugh every time I think about it. lol

Our friends the couple left straight from IHOP to go home, since it was almost time for their son to nap. Meat and K came back to get their stuff before they left to head into the city. I was sad to see them go. K is a nice guy. I know Meat really likes him and I'm glad I've gotten to meet him now. It was great to spend a little time with Meat. She's one of my closest friends and of my closest friends, she's the one that knows most of my secrets. We always have fun together, including making me spit pop from laughing. Yeah, that happened Friday night. When she left it hit me how much I'm going to miss her after I move. I mean, it's not like I see her all the time now, but I'll see her even less then. It also hit me how lonely my life here has been. And that makes me glad to move.

So, that was my excitement for the weekend. I found out today that my brother lost his job, so everyone please keep your fingers crossed for him. I'm sure he'll be able to find another one and I think it'll probably be good for him. But it still makes me a bit nervous for him. Mom said he seems okay about it.

I hope everyone else had a good weekend! :)

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Friday, July 21, 2006

Did You Know?

I have things to blog, but I just don't feel like writing them at the moment. But I did want to post. So to borrow from Dirk...

10 Things You Never Knew about Suzy Q (or maybe you did)

1. My mom says I had orange hair when I was very first born.

2. My first nickname ever was "Missed Swiss."

3. I had surgery on my left hand for trigger thumb when I was 4. You can still see the scars from the stitches.

4. I have big feet for only being 5'4.

5. My cheeks are so naturally pink that the few times I've had make-up professionally done, instead of putting on blush, they have to tone down my cheeks.

6. I took my first plane trip when I was 4 months old.

7. I had a horse when I was a kid, but she lived about 1200 miles away. One of her offspring is still living on a ranch in New Mexico and is a beautiful horse.

8. I have, in total, ten first cousins.

9. I didn't have my first kiss 'til I was 24.

10. I graduated high school with honors.

So there's a little more about me. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend! I get to see Meat tonight! :)

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Thursday, July 20, 2006

Hi, Hello, & Howdy!

I see you. There's only a few of you, but I know you're out there. Don't be afraid. I won't bite. (That's reserved for Master!) Come on, lurkers, speak up and say hi! :)

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Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Let it go

I don't know what made me think of him this morning. Doesn't really matter. For some reason I was reminded of someone I used to know that we'll call J. I "met" J online nearly... sheesh, probably 5 years ago now. Back when I still enjoyed chat rooms. Friends first, slowly moving into the possibility of something else. I even lost touch with him for a little while at one point, but he found me again. I knew little about him. He had trouble trusting people. He'd had a rough life, even though he was a couple years younger than me, which made me try that much harder to be his friend and even maybe his submissive. I knew in my gut that even if our relationship never really developed into anything more than friendship, that he needed a friend more than anyone I'd ever met before.

J used to disappear for days or even weeks at a time without me knowing where or why. He would say it was for his work. After a while... a long while, I got fed up with him just leaving and never letting me know. I was left to worry that something bad had happened and I would never know. Or if our last conversation had been unpleasant, then I was left to wonder if this time he'd left for good.

J disappeared for good right about the time I was first contacted by Master. I'd finally really stood up to J. I'd even called him a coward. He even agreed with me, but I knew I'd hit hard with that comment. I was still willing to be his friend, but he was gone this time.

I'd known J for around 3 years by the time he really left. We'd spent endless amounts of time talking online and on the phone. In all that time, I never found out what his job was. I never knew exactly where he lived, only which state. I never even knew his last name.

It's taken me a long time with Master to realize that he's not going to disappear on me. He and I can disagree and have bad conversations, but he's never going to up and walk away. He gives me the same trust that he expects from me. He's healed me in so many ways.

J tried contacting me about 7 months after he disappeared for good. At first, I responded, still feeling like I could still at least be a friend to someone I knew needed one. But Master told me not to. Master knew how badly he'd treated me, how much damage he'd done to me. So that was it.

Only this morning I was thinking what a good thing it was that Master had instructed me to let it go, and that I did. I guess sometimes it takes someone outside the situation to see the truth. Sometimes we have to borrow someone else's strength in order to cut a poisonous tie. Sometimes we have to just let it go.

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006

I have no title

Well, I'll work on the suggestions that you all offered. I like how Master wants more sex stories even though he was THERE for all of them. lol

I was actually thinking just Sunday morning of a tender moment he and I had during his last visit here. During of the nights he was here, I woke up with hiccups. It's a crappy way to wake up in the middle of the night and doesn't make me a happy girl. I was able to get rid of them relatively quickly and didn't have to get up for a drink or anything. But it was nice to just have Master rub my back a little while I was trying to escape the "hic!" madness. There are so many things that I'm used to just dealing with on my own, and even though he couldn't do much to help with this, it was just so nice to have him there and have his touch.

So what made me think of that? I woke up sometime Saturday night/Sunday morning with hiccups.

I talked to my good friend Meat last night. Apparently she and her new boyfriend are planning on coming up this weekend to go to a White Sox game. She asked what I thought of them driving up Friday night instead of Saturday, crashing at my place, and then we could go out to breakfast before they leave to go meet up with some cousins of hers that are supposed to go to the game with them. I told her that as long as she doesn't mind that I only have a single bed, a couch, and the floor, then they're welcome! So I'm going to have a couple guests Friday night! We might meet up with some other old friends in the Chicago area for breakfast. They're other people that Meat and I graduated high school with that I sort of haven't stayed in touch with very well, but she has. So that might be kind of fun since at one time, I was friends with them as well. Let's just hope I can get my apt. in order enough by Friday!

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Sunday, July 16, 2006

Where did it go?

I came to Blogger today because I was going to post about something. I walked away, came back... and now I can't remember what the heck I was going to write. Anyone have any suggestions?

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Saturday, July 15, 2006

When I turn out the light
You're out of sight
Although I know that I'm not alone
Feels like home

"Under the Weather"
KT Tunstall

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Friday, July 14, 2006

Friday Evening Tidbits

Four weeks from tomorrow. The days are going quicker than I think and yet... still not quite quick enough.

You know how they say 80% of women are wearing the wrong bra size? I was one of them. But I do believe I've figured out! I'm happy to say that I'm no longer, uh, spilling over. Oddly enough, I kept going up in cup size, when (after a point, at least) I actually needed to go up in chest-width size. Now I don't hate my bras so much!

I realized that I am going to hell for sure now. I got an email from my mom yesterday, and she was actually emailing from home. She finally got her home internet and email set up again - it only took 4 years! Part of her email was a bit about the preacher at the church there who has some kind of cancer. It has apparently spread and he was care-flighted to the state university hospital where he is on a respirator. His kids and other family have all flown in, all the stuff that doesn't sound good. My first thought? "Good, now they can get a different preacher." Yikes! This man became the preacher there after I'd already moved, so it's not like I know him real well. But the little I've been around him, he always rubs me the wrong way. And I know my mom has issues with him as well, although she's always very careful to either keep them to herself or try to go about it diplomatically. In any case, since my first split-second thought was that I'd be glad if he didn't go back to preach there, I'm pretty sure I'm going to hell.

I'm very glad I have my little wall A/C unit since they're saying this is going to be the hottest weekend of the summer so far. I tend to get really pissy when I'm uncomfortably hot in a place where I'm supposed to be comfortable.

I hope everyone has a good weekend.

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Read This

Everyone needs to read this post from Liz. It's just so... just go read it. :)

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Thursday, July 13, 2006

Don't Look Now

I just saw myself from behind in the mirror of the bathroom here at work. Ugh. I must have the biggest rear... ever. Sometimes I wish I could just... not eat.

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Wednesday, July 12, 2006

One Month

Well. Remind me not to try reader participation again. Or limit it to more "politically correct" topics.

The good news is that in exactly one month, I get to pick up Master at the aiport! Finally. Finally get to be in his arms, look in his eyes, feeling his ownership again.

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Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Curiosity Killed the Erection?

Reader participation time!

How would you all define cock worship? Or what do you think of when you hear (or read) that term?

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You know what song I never get tired of hearing? Well, there's a number of them, actually, but I've loved this song from the first time I heard it. "I'm On Fire," Bruce Springsteen. I love it. I love how it feels like the rocking of a train. I love how it's kind of low and heated. I can just listen to it over and over. Love it.

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Monday, July 10, 2006

Spazzed

Last night before bed, Master and I were talking about what we're going to have to do with my car in terms of cost, registration, insurance, etc. It's not really a good bedtime conversation, so, of course, I had trouble getting to sleep, even after I stopped thinking about that topic. Then this morning I was still feeling frazzled, was late for work, and for some reason was getting all stressed about everything I needed to do before moving, mainly all the packing I need to do. I really only have about a month left! I don't really have all that much to pack; it's just me and I don't have a ton of schtuff. I also don't want to wait til the last minute. But I don't want to spend the next month living with a bunch of boxes. Then I remind myself that I'll have a few days between getting back from my last trip to Ohio after I finish working and when Master gets here, and most of my packing should be able to be accomplished then. Oy. So now everyone can understand why I was crabby this morning.

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Monday Blah

I'm feeling kind of crabby this morning, so I figured something funny was in order.


Maybe more later if I feel like rambling.

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Sunday, July 09, 2006

Too Much

Sometimes I just can't handle it. Sometimes I don't know how I survive so long apart from him. I break down and cry. My chest aches so much I can't breathe. I keep trying to tell myself that this is our last time apart. I countdown the weeks and days until I see him again. But sometimes it's just too much. I miss his fingers in my hair. I miss him whispering at my ear. I miss his hands on my skin. I miss him taking care of me. I miss drifting off to sleep in the warm haze I only feel in his arms. I miss being able to snuggle back against him and feeling his chest against my back. I miss him kissing my neck. More than anything, I miss the way I feel when he looks at me.

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Saturday, July 08, 2006

Kind of a favourite memory

I can't believe that "Lost" didn't get nominated for diddly squat for the Emmy's! The guy who plays Desmond got nominated for his guest role, but that's it. That's it! I am NOT happy.

The favourite memory that I mentioned before is still hazy and probably always will be. I was kind of out of my head at the time! But I'll do my best to paint the picture. It was his last visit here, at the end of March. We were laying on my bed on our sides with Master laying behind me. His arms were wrapped tightly around me, holding me firmly against him. Master put his mouth on my ear, mainly the harder, outside part on the side. He was sucking, nibbling, biting, I don't even know what all. It was driving me CRAZY!! There is some debate as to whether or not one of his hands was between my legs. What I know for sure is that I was out of my head, moaning, writhing around as much as I could in his firm hold on me. I never knew that spot on my ear would make me so crazy with pleasure! My ear ended up being pink for two days and was sore even longer than that, but... hurt me again, if that's how good it feels!

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Thursday, July 06, 2006

Little Me


This is a picture of me when I was two. I must have gotten mad about something and apparently Mom thought it was cute. I thought this would be a fun way to post another picture without giving too much away!

I ripped the pants I wore to work today. I was lucky that it ripped in an area that, uh, wasn't apparent to the naked eye. But I was unlucky enough that it kind of ripped across the fabric so it's not something that can really be mended. At least I got a lot of use out of those pants.


I've been thinking about making more little posts here, blogging when I have any little thing to say, not just when I have some big story to tell. I mean, this is my random, rambling blog, so why not have it live up to the title? lol

I was going to tell about how I freaked out on Tuesday when it looked like immigration/border crossing stuff was going to be a problem and how Master took care of it, but... well, that sums it up and I don't feel like going into details. I was going to tell about how I heard back from a recruiting place in Edmonton after I'd sent them a resume, but there's not much more to tell than that since it's on hold for now until I get there and can actually go in for an interview. However, I do want to say that in 36 days from tomorrow (Friday) I get to pick up Master at the airport!! And Suzy finally gets laid again!! :)

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Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Back to Work

I realized this morning when I was getting ready for work that I hadn't put on a bra since I got home from work on Friday. And I sure didn't miss it.

I have a memory that I want to share from Master's last visit here, but it's still a little too hazy right now. I don't want to think about it too much at work, either, because it makes me squirmy with how much fun we had.

I thought once I posted my email I might get at least one message from a lurker telling me what a freak they think I am. Guess I'm not that freaky after all. lol

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Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Suzy's 4th of July Movie Reviews

I rented a stack of movies for this wonderful long holiday weekend. Please keep in mind that this is just my opinion and nothing more. So let's get to the reviews!

Failure to Launch - For the most part, I really liked this movie. I love Matthew McConaughey. Kathy Bates and Terry Bradshaw were funny and they were funny together. Even the "supporting players" were a lot of fun in the movie. The part that didn't fit for me? Sarah Jessica Parker. It seemed kind of like she was still trying to be Sex in the City when, um, it's not. It felt like she was still NYC when everyone else was casual and coastal. It just felt like she was showing up and doing her part when everyone else was actually enjoying it. And this is a very minor kind of thing, but I hated her hair. lol Overall, I liked the movie and I thought it was fun.

Memoirs of a Geisha - I have this book, and I'm glad I do. I think I would've been a lot more lost, especially at the beginning, had I not read the book before seeing this movie. I think they skipped over a lot of what happened in the book, which - to me - leaves the movie feeling a little disjointed. I suppose if you haven't read the book, that may not happen. This movie is definitely visually stunning. It's beautiful. I enjoyed this movie, but I think liked the book more.

Wedding Crashers - This movie is just frickin' funny. Plot-wise it's mostly what you expect, but that's no surprise. It's all the things that they throw in with it that make it so fun. A lot of gratuitous boob shots, but it's kind of worth it when you get to watch Dr. Quinn, Medical Woman trying to get felt up. You can't help but laugh!

The Sisters - I hadn't even heard of this movie when I saw it on the shelf. It had an amazing cast and the little summary sounded interesting, so I decided to go for it. I'm glad I did! It was dramatic and intense and suspenseful. It's based on a play, which you can kind of tell in the staging and dialogue, but I only found that mildly distracting. I really enjoyed this movie and would recommend it.

Junebug - First off, the very beginning of this movie is so random and I love it. lol I have mixed feelings about this movie. I really liked parts of it and other parts... I'm thinking, "What the heck is this?" This movie is very subtle and it's definitely character driven. It's not about a big plot. It's about family dynamic. The dad in the movie is, I think, like a lot of quiet dads and very endearing. Amy Adams is great at being not quite up to speed and trying so hard to be liked. I think I liked it more than I didn't, but be warned that it had a few spots that I got bored. It had a few hot little sex scenes too! And how much of a little church girl am I (was I)? Of the two hymns they sang in the two church scenes, I knew both by heart. And I sang along.

The Big White - I hadn't heard of this movie either, but it also seemed to have a good cast and a good plot. It ended up being a dark comedy. A comedic tragedy? Something along those lines. As it went along, I wasn't sure I was liking it, but by the end I did. Holly Hunter was a trip. This isn't a movie I'd rave about, but it was alright and kept my interest.

On a random note, I rented two movies with Alessandro Nivola and two movies with Bradley Cooper, and none of them were the same movies. I didn't even realize it when I was at the video store. I just want to say that Alessandro has such deep, intense, expressive eyes in everything I've seen him in. Probably part of what makes him a good actor.

So let me know what you think - agree, disagree, tell me to keep my day job, whatever! :)

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Monday, July 03, 2006

Harass Me!

Thanks to a little instruction from Saddle, I now have a link over there on the right ----->
for anyone who wants to email me. This is my "anonymous" email, which is why I'm posting it for the world to see, but it's not my main email address. So if it takes me a day or two to respond, don't sweat it. So if there's a something you've been wanting to say or a question you've been wanting to ask, but you didn't want to leave it in the comments, now's your chance!

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Un-Manic Monday

I love a holiday weekend! It's nice to wake up slowly and to realize that I still have one more day off of work. :)

I've started a draft of my movie reviews, but I'm not finished watching them, so it's not being posted yet.

I've got that site counter going for my blog now. It's interesting to see where people are reading from and that I actually do have some lurkers. Interesting crap, people!

I'm having a hard time being apart from Master. I always hate it, but it gets harder the longer we go since seeing each other. I ache for his touch, his words at my ear, having him claim me deep inside. I was reminded again last night even the little ways that I need to submit to him. Apparently his kids want to go see the latest "Fast and Furious" movie once it gets to the cheap theater. Depending on the timing of it, that may be after I get there. And I loathe those movies like nobody's business. Master reminded me that it's not up to me. If he wants me to go, then I'm going. "yes Sir." Am I excited about the prospect of seeing this movie? Heck no. Do I like him gently reminding me who's in control? You better believe it!

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Saturday, July 01, 2006

Possible New Blog?

I had an idea the other night. I know, that doesn't happen every day, right? I told Master about it to see what he thought and he liked the idea. I had the idea to create a second blog after I get home to Edmonton in August. Master and I would both contribute to it. It would be an blog of our... sex-ploits, if you will. It would be a fun way for us to be a little bit of exhibitionists. And everyone else could be a bit of a voyeur! So here's the question: is that something that people would be interested in or would it be a big waste of time on our part? Granted, it might not matter how people answer because we can do what we want, dang it. lol

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