Thursday, May 31, 2007

So on and so on

It's been kind of a quiet week. Master and I had another bump in the road on Tuesday, but we talked through it. I had a headache all day yesterday. I'll have more Jasper pictures to post soon.

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Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Too Cute

I normally try not to post pictures of other people without their permission, but this is just to precious to pass up. This picture is of Meat's daughter on the day of her wedding, when she was the flower girl. She had just turned 3. Is she just too cute or what?



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Monday, May 28, 2007

One Month

Yesterday was our one month anniversary. I suspect that's the only time we'll recognize a monthly wedding anniversary. lol


On Saturday, Master and I had an awesome day. For one thing, Suzy orgasmed again! Yea! Master and I didn't even leave the bedroom til 1 PM. (hee hee) That's always a good start to a day, right? :) J was at his mom's this weekend, so A was the only kid around. Master and I had something to eat and cleaned up, and then decided to go outside for a while because it was a really beautiful day. We made a couple stops (one of them being to pick up 3 rolls of film I got developed, so I'll have more pictures to post soon) and then went to a park. In our running around, we picked up something to eat and ate it at the park. There was a goose that got pretty close - you could tell he was used to being fed! Then after we ate and looked at all the pictures, we walked around the park some. We probably would've walked a bit longer except that I was getting feasted on by mosquitoes. At one point along the trail, there were a couple of geese hanging out, and as we got close, the one started walking directly towards us. It got within about a foot of us and Master said, "I think that's close enough now." He kind of stepped back a little, so we kept going, but then he moved towards us again. I said, "Hey now. Master said that was close enough! You have to listen to Master!" The goose went away. Master laughed at me and said that I was mean. I said I was just firm and direct. lol (No one else was anywhere around us, so I could actually call Master "Master" and not by his name, so it really did come out like how I just wrote it.)




Sunday was... not so awesome. It started out well enough, but things just went downhill from there. Fortunately the bad stuff just had to do with the kids and wasn't anything between Master and me, so it wasn't as rough as it is when he and I are having a bad day. However, by the end of the day, I had seriously lost my patience. I had to work hard just to be in the same room as the kids. It made me feel a little better to know that Master had just about had enough of them too, though, so I know it wasn't just me. I was in a foul mood, but Master and I went outside (since it was comfortably cool at that point) and talked about the day, and then I was feeling better. I realized last night after we went to bed that, when Master asks what's wrong or wants to know what's bugging me about something, I'm getting better about just telling him and not trying to skirt the issue or pretend nothing's wrong. And that really made me feel good, knowing that we're working and we're getting better. So the day at least ended in a good way. :)




As of yet, I haven't posted any pictures of Master, but I got his permission to post a couple. So here are two pictures of us from Jasper. One is during the little wedding ceremony and the other is right after. Didn't we have an incredible place to get married?






Yes, the lake is still partially frozen!


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Thursday, May 24, 2007

Good and Little Problem

Things have been better. Master and I are good, and things are going well between the kids and me. In fact, A was home from school this afternoon and when I went upstairs to get some lunch, she and I ended up sitting down and just talking for an hour, about all kinds of stuff. It was really nice.

There's just one little problem. I'm kind of embarassed about this, to the point where I'm almost afraid to type it. But here goes. I'm having trouble achieving an orgasm. I haven't been one to cum over and over, but now... nothing. Master will do things that start to feel good, and then... it just kind of fades and I'm just lying there. Master wants me to tell him what to do, what feels good, but after a while I start focusing on that and I forget to enjoy it, so that only works so well for me. And I think sometimes I get a little frustrated when Master does the same stuff even though it's not working. But I feel like if I say something then, I'm just going to snap at him, and I don't want to do that. Has this ever happened to anyone else? Does anyone have any suggestions? Any sites or books with good tips or advice? Any help is appreciated.

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Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Say What?

They say we could get snow overnight. Snow. It's May 24th. Snow.

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Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Freak of Nature

I discovered this morning that I somehow managed to get a big bite on each of the top of my feet in almost exactly the same spot on each foot. A coincidence? Or bug terrorism? Hmmm...

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This past weekend was a lot of up and down. Master and I had some great time together, and we had some really rough time together. I actually had some decent time with the kids, though, so I feel like I just need to be patient and I'll get there with them. Master and I talked last night and both figured out some stuff we each need to work on. I think it's one of those things where we both knew that my moving here was not going to be easy, we just didn't expect it to be this hard.

The good news? We're getting some furniture today!! Furniture has never been a big priority to Master, which I knew beforehand. So we're able to take the money from the shower and, instead of using it for sheets or towels or anything, we can put it together and get big stuff. We had been looking at couches (since currently the only thing to sit on in the living room is a wobbly stool), but they always seemed to be fairly expensive, even at the warehouse/liquidation places. We went back to Ikea this past Saturday. We'd already been once, a few weeks ago, but we were mainly looking at kitchen chairs at that point (since we also need new ones) and kind of went past the couches. This time we ended up finding 2 loveseats! There were a couple couches that would've worked, but we feel like we're almost getting more for our money this way. I'm excited about making the living room look more like a living room and having a good place to hang out as a family.

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Sunday, May 20, 2007

I just feel lost. Again. I feel like I don't fit here. I feel like, try as I might, everyone but Master would be happier if I just went back to Ohio. I'm afraid that this will never fully feel like home because I have to keep most of my stuff in corners that no one else is using. But I also feel like it's not worth the fight. Who cares if my stuff is in corners? Is this what it means to submit? To just get lost and give in? If I do, will I ever find my way back? Will Master lead me? Or do I just stay lost?

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Thursday, May 17, 2007

We're not in Kansas anymore, Toto

Saturday afternoon, Master, A, and I were going to go to the mall to do a little shopping. However, Master and I ended up taking a nap for a couple hours, so it was a little after 6 PM before the three of us finally left. I said something about going to the mall...

Master: We can't go to the mall now, it's closed.

Suzy: Closed? It's only 6:15.

Master: Yeah. The malls close at 6 on Saturdays.

Suzy: (incredulously) What do people do on Saturday nights?

Master: They watch hockey.

Suzy:

Yeah, I'm definitely in Canada. Eh?

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Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Light

Last summer at one point I was talking to Master on the phone before I went to bed, as was our custom, and I said something about not being able to see something outside because it was dark. It was probably around 10:30 PM, give or take. Master was surprised that it was already dark. Apparently up here it stays light much later, which isn't a huge shock since it's farther north. I finally noticed it last night. It was probably 10:15 last night when I turned off the light for us to go to bed... and I noticed there was still a little light coming in through the window. I'm curious to see how late it ends up staying light next month!

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Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Needy

The last few days hadn't been great for me. I was moody and crabby most of the time. It would've been easy to just chalk it up to being on my period, but I knew that wasn't it, as least not completely. Yeah, I can get moody around my period, but not this bad. I just wasn't myself. Yesterday I was just blah all day, not even for a specific reason. Last night, for the first time in days, Master and I got some good time alone together. We had planned on getting some on Saturday, but it didn't happen. At first, I was in such a foul mood last night that we just sat there for a while. We turned on the TV just to have something to "do." I ended up going to get my comb so Master could comb my hair. I sat between his legs on the bed while we watched TV and he just combed it for a little while. It helped me relax and made me feel better, and gave us a way to sort of connect again. We just cuddled and talked and watched TV. It didn't take long for me to be in a much better mood!

I already knew that when I didn't get good time with Master - even from a distance - my mood wasn't as good. But it didn't hit me til last night how much it could really affect me. I didn't realize until then how much I need him and need good time with him. It's almost a little frightening, but it's also a bit of a relief to know that he can get me out of a funk. After all, he should be the one to be able to do that! :)

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Sunday, May 13, 2007

Learning

Yesterday and last night were kind of rough. It should've been a good day, but it wasn't for me and that's my own fault. Sometimes I still have trouble feeling like I fit here much at all. I have to keep reminding myself that it's only been three weeks. I also have to keep reminding myself that, when it comes to Master's kids, I'm the adult in the equation and I should act as such. I might have trouble relating to them or getting along with them, but that doesn't mean I should isolate myself or hide from them in the basement (our room). I really broke down last night. Hard. I was shaking and sobbing and nearly doubled over from the ache in my chest. Master and I talked and talked and I cried and cried. It seems that a lot of this is my own fault, even though Master says it isn't. I know it is. And I know it more so this morning because I already started trying to make changes and it's already made a difference with his daughter. It's humbling and a little heartbreaking to know that this pain is my own doing. But it also means that I can do something about it and it's not out of my control. I can make it better.

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Friday, May 11, 2007

Bird Finding

I think, I think, I found the bird I was looking for: the Black-Billed Magpie. I looked at it on a site that Master found about Alberta birds, and then double checked it on the page above. And I think it's the right bird! Master said we should double-check with his dad because he would probably know for sure, so I'll get confirmation on Sunday. But I like having a name for the birds now. :)

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Stranded

I really wish I had my car today. This hasn't been a good morning. Things keep going wrong and coming to a head and I'm not getting along with anyone. I just wish I could go hop in my car and drive around for a while, turn up the music, let the road and the songs clear my head. Make me feel better. I could walk somewhere, but I don't know where I'd go and it wouldn't be the same. It's just a crappy day and I know that would make me feel better.

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Thursday, May 10, 2007

Personal DNA

I followed the link from Bearette to take the test for my personal DNA. Kind of interesting.




If you want to see the whole report on me, you can go here. It's pretty accurate!

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Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Bird Hunting

There's a local bird here in Edmonton and I'm trying to figure out what it is. Master and A said that they've always seen them around, but they don't know what they are. I searched a little online last night, but couldn't find them. Anyone know of any good sites to find out that kind of thing?

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Monday, May 07, 2007

Hit or Miss

Every Sunday we go to Master's parents house for supper. We usually go sometime in the afternoon and hang out for a while and then eat. They mainly want to see the kids, but they're obliged to put up with us since we can take them. (ha ha!) They also took care of A and J while Master and I were in Jasper. Yesterday we went and dropped the boys off at their house, and then Master, A, and I left to go look for new kitchen chairs. (We didn't find anything super promising.) We went back, and by that time, Master's brother and sister-in-law were also there. We all hung around for a little while, ate dinner, and had some cake for A's birthday, which was last week. Soon after that, we left to take R back to his mom's and come home.

I didn't realize until after we left that neither Master's parents or his brother and SIL said anything about us getting married. Not a word. I like his family and get along with them just fine. They were still nice to me like they usually are, and they didn't act any different, so it's not like I think they don't like me or that they're unhappy that we got married. When Master told his mom when we got back, he said she sounded happy, so I don't think they're upset that they weren't included in the ceremony. So... I don't know what the deal is. It's not like I expect them to throw a party for us, but I thought they might say something like... congratulations? Welcome to the family? Let's see that stunning ring? (hee hee) I mentioned it to Master when we went to bed and he said he'd realized it afterwards too and he didn't know why either. I have to admit, it kinda hurts. Is getting married just not the big deal that I think it is?

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Saturday, May 05, 2007

First Jasper Picture


This is the first picture I have to post from our trip to Jasper! This is along Maligne Canyon (although it's not so much of a canyon at this point). This was at the top of the hill right before the 5th bridge, and I was so happy because that's where I got to stop, so the end was in sight! Of course, I was also happy because of this incredible view! Isn't that just amazing?

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Friday, May 04, 2007

So on & so on

Today is better. Master and I spent some good time together last night, which helped a lot. I also got a good night's sleep last night. I'm still getting used to sharing a bed. And I'm here at work with Master today. The place he works for has a couple locations and we're at the smaller one, so he's the only one here today! So I get to hang out with him for the day, which is nice. We both thought that once I got here, it'd be easier to be apart during the day, but it's really not. We still miss each other like crazy. At least now I get to be there when he gets home. :)

I was filling out my application this morning to extend my stay as a visitor in Canada. It actually was a relatively simple application, although I do have to send in 2 passport photos with it. I'm not quite sure why, but I won't question it too much. The immigration lady at the airport when I arrived said that it'll take around two months for it to be processed just because they're backed up some, so I shouldn't expect an immidiate answer. As long as I've submitted the application before my current visitor status expires (which happens on May 20) I can stay in the country while it's being processed. It's called "implied status." Aren't you all glad to learn all this with me?

I'm getting along much better with A - Master's daughter - now. We've kind of bonded on all the things we'd like to do to improve the house, like what furniture to get with the money from the shower and stuff like that. As long as things are kind of like they are now, I think we'll be fine. The funny thing is, now his son J - who turns 9 in a few weeks - is kind of annoying me. Mainly because he whines. And he whines. And then he whines some more. I've never been much of one for whining because it doesn't accomplish anything and often just makes the situation worse. (Master just looked over my shoulder and said, "He doesn't always whine. He's just been doing that lately for some reason.") I think I'm almost too quick to get annoyed with him right now because of all the whining even if whatever he's doing isn't something that I'd normally get annoyed with. So I'm having to work on being patient and not snapping at him, especially if what he's doing isn't actually that bad and it's just me getting my back up or something. Master's youngest son, R, is with us this weekend. He's 6 and lives with his mom, but spends every other weekend with us. This will be my first weekend living here with all 3 kids being around. It'll be an adventure!!

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Thursday, May 03, 2007

I'm feeling a little lost today. Like things aren't connecting with Master and me and even within myself. I know it'll be okay, but this is right now.

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Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Back

We're home! You can all now call me Mrs. Master. LOL

We had a wonderful, fantastic trip to Jasper. We got there exactly 6 minutes before our appointment with the marriage commissioner. Good thing I didn't have to pee! We met her and our two witnesses that came with her at Pyramid Island. Master and I were both expecting the island to be bigger in size for some reason, like something you could drive onto. Turns out it's just a little thing in Pyramid Lake with a nice bridge that you walk to get to the island. It was kind of windy, but at least it was sunny, which I was especially glad for when I saw that the "gazebo" the M.C. had said we could use in case of bad weather was really more like a picnic shelter. We had a beautiful backdrop of Pyramid Lake, still partially frozen, and a snow-capped mountain beyond that! I don't remember what I said, but I got a little emotional as I said it. It was just great. No big fuss, but still with the important stuff that matters. :)

After we finished at Pyramid Island, Master and I drove the few minutes to get to the place where we stayed, Alpine Village. Jasper is a pretty darn small town in the Jasper National Park. A.V. is a couple miles south of town right across the small road from the Athabasca River, with Mount Edith Cavell behind that. It just takes your breath away!! We stayed in a cute little cabin that was basically one room with a bathroom (of course), and it had a little front porch with a couple chairs. There were trees all around the cabins. Across the road along the river were a couple trails, which Master and I walked along later on Friday. After he did some things to me. ;)

Saturday we took our time in the morning and went to Maligne Canyon after lunch. Master had been there as a kid and remembered it being very beautiful. Due to either the time of year or something else, there wasn't as much water, so it wasn't what he remembered to be. There was a lot of ice in the canyon with the water. What amazed me was that the water - which comes down from the mountains - was so pure and clean that the ice was actually tinted blue! We saw it in a couple other places too. It's beautiful.

We hiked along the canyon and stuff for a while, about half way down. It took us a while because we would stop and look and take pictures. And because Suzy is out of shape. But Master guessed that it was about 5km, so it was a decent hike for me. Made my calves sore with the up and down on the hike. Right towards the end - when I didn't know the end was near - I was starting to regret that I'd gone this far and was wishing that I'd turned around and gone back to the car earlier. That was at the bottom of the last hill. At the top I was able to see the 5th bridge, which was the end for me. (There was a parking lot there, so I waited there for Master to get the car and pick me up. lol) The view from the top of that hill was totally worth it. The beautiful crystal clear water in the river below, the pine trees around, the sun shining down, the snow-capped mountains in the distance... incredible.

Sunday the weather wasn't as cooperative. It was snowing! Thankfully, it wasn't sticking, so it didn't hamper any kind of driving. We decided to go see the Athabasca Falls, because that had been suggested to us by the marriage commissioner, and it was about 30km south of town, so it wasn't too far of a drive. However, coming from Jasper, the signs pointing to Athabasca Falls were... not there! So we missed the turn since there were no signs pointing to the Falls or giving the highway name, which would've also helped. So we kept driving, father than we needed to. It ended up being okay since we drove far enough to go to Sunwapta Falls! So we made a little stop there, although we didn't hike around a lot there. We still got some nice pictures and saw the cool falls. And after we left Sunwapta Falls and were driving back towards Jasper, we were able to see the signs for Athabasca Falls coming the other way, so we did get to stop there! It was also pretty cool.

We were going to maybe try to see something else in the area, although we'd covered a lot of ground, but I was coming down with a cold by then, so we just stayed in. I'd started feeling a bit of a swollen throat right before we left, and I wasn't completely surprised. Whenever I visit here, I almost always end up getting a bit of a cold or something. It seems that my body doesn't have all its defences against Canadian germs yet!

I loved our trip, I loved our time together, and I love I'm married to Master! I really enjoyed getting so much time alone with Master. I also loved where we were. The scenery was incredible and we got to see deer, elk, and big horned sheep (although the horns weren't that big, like they were still growing in)! I would highly recommend going to Jasper for anyone who likes the mountains and doesn't mind a little cold. However, I suspect that it gets pretty crowded during the summer, so perhaps go during the off-season if possible, like we did. Not only is it not as crowded, but all accomodations are cheaper too.

Master and I both took a ton of pictures, so I'm sure I'll have several picture posts coming up! :)

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