Thursday, January 29, 2009

Presidential Question

There's one thing I'd love to ask the Obamas:

Is the sex hotter now that he's President?

Yeah, I'm just nosey and curious that way.

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I went to my first-ever hockey game last night. Edmonton has a team in the WHL, the Oil Kings. It's a junior hockey league. So Master, John, and I went last night. (It was actually John's first hockey game too.) It was okay. Kind of fun, but not something I'm in a rush to do again. It doesn't help that we lost. The guys had fun, and I think they might go to another game this season if they can manage it. But at least now I can say I've been to a hockey game! That's what happens when you live in Canada!


Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Sex Injury

Master and I had sex again last night when we went to bed. He woke up this morning and his knee hurt, like he had pulled a muscle in it. It hurt all day. He's not sure when it happened, but we can only figure that it was sometime while he was fucking me. So... oops!

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Monday, January 26, 2009

Two Things

First, I bought the movie Burn After Reading last week. I hadn't seen it when I bought it, but I felt fairly sure that I would like it, since it was a Coen brothers movie and I like the actors in it. Have any of you seen it? If you haven't, DON'T. I was completely disappointed. It wasn't funny, and the story was... meh. It had twists and turns, but as Master said, "It didn't go anywhere!" Brad Pitt's character was funny, but not enough to make the rest of the movie funny too. The rest of the characters weren't funny enough to be loveable or real enough to actually care about. It was just a big, fat disappointment. I'm thinking about writing the Coens or Pitt or Clooney to ask for my money back.

The second of my two things is on a much better note. Things between Master and me just haven't been great lately. I mentioned a few posts ago about feeling disconnected, and despite our trip to the naughty store, it just wasn't changing. Or at least it didn't really feel like it. I just felt continually frustrated, both with things between us and with how things were in the house as a whole. Master and I weren't have sex much either. It just seemed like, even when things were okay, it still wasn't great.

This past weekend was going along the same way, both Saturday and Sunday. I'm frustrated, Master and I are disagreeing about things, but nothing changes. Master left Sunday with the boys around lunchtime to take Ricky back to his mom's, so I had some time to myself. I just felt really tired of everything being like it was. I was just thinking for a while, playing some mindless games on the puter. And I made a decision: I'm going to change. You know, I can't change or control Master or the kids. And I don't want to spend the rest of my life being frustrated and miserable. I just needed to change my attitude. You get what you put out, right?

Since one of my big frustrations is things not getting done around the house, and people not cleaning up after themselves, I also made a decision about that. I'm going to lead by example, and then even if no one follows, I'm still getting stuff done. I cleaned one (of three) of the toilets, and I cleaned the tub, which I'd been putting off for weeks. Master had mentioned the day before about maybe having a cleaning day, so when he and John got home, they also cleaned some things. And I think Alice is going to be doing her cleaning today since she was working yesterday.

Once I made that decision yesterday, I was in a better mood. And me being in a better mood puts Master in a better mood too. Shocking, I know. lol We kept kissing as we were doing other things, and then after dinner, we hid in our room and kissed for a while. It's great to just kiss!

Of course, we didn't stop there! One of my frustrations - and really, one of Master's too - has been that I don't seem to be able to orgasm much, if at all, when we play. If/when I orgasm, it's usually just me doing my own thing. That just doesn't make for a great sex life, you know? Well, last night was... incredible. I think we still have some things to sort out, but I definitely came! Master played with me for a little while, then we had sex, but in a slightly different position. It was so good! It's crazy how much difference just a slight adjustment can make! I came while we were fucking, and that's only the second time that's ever happened for us. When we went to bed, I was thinking about it again, and so I had to start molesting Master. We went at it again, using that slightly different position again, and I orgasmed again!! It was so... overwhelming, I actually cried a little after we finished. I know, that's such a girl thing to do. Master was so happy, he was all wound up. lol

So. I feel like I've turned a corner. My philosophy in life for a long time has been that whining, the vast majority of the time, is pointless. (I do think there's a difference between whining and venting.) If there's something that you don't like, change it. Otherwise, shut it and move on. All this time, I was trying to change all the things around me that I didn't like, believe that that was the problem. While I still believe there are some of those things that should be changed, I guess it finally - FINALLY - hit me that I can't make that happen. And in the meantime, life is passing me by, and I'm not really living it. Life is too short to not really live it. I mean, if my life span ends up being like my dad's, my life is already half over! So my decision is to try to live my life... better. Have a better attitude, try not to sweat the small stuff so much, that kind of thing. So here's to turning corners and living life! :)

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Saturday, January 24, 2009

Bored in the Car Wash Line: a Photo Essay

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Friday, January 23, 2009


I just read a column by a sports writer, but he was paying tribute to the first dog that he and his wife had. Sad, but really sweet. Read it, but have a tissue handy.

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Thursday, January 22, 2009


I'm rather frustrated right now. When Master got home last night, I asked him what his plans for the evening were. He said he was taking Alice to the clinic. Why? Because she wants to get birth control! I was completely taken aback by this. Granted, it has nothing to do with me, really, but I would've thought that Master would've mentioned it, you know? He said he thought he told me about it, but that he must've forgotten. Which really frustrated me, because this is turning into a pattern.

A few months ago, Master's dad had some medical tests done. I don't remember now what it was even about because it all turned out okay. Master knew how the tests had turned out, but forgot to tell me, so that when my FIL called the next week and I asked him about it, he said, "Oh, I told (Master) about it. Didn't he tell you?" Nope, and now I feel like an idiot. Not that it's my FIL's fault.

Last month Alice apparently helped a woman out while she was at work, and the woman was so grateful that she wrote a letter to the manager and Alice got a gift card. So when Master mentions it a couple weeks ago, I'm asking, "What are you talking about?" And Master says, "Oh, I thought I told you about that." Nope.

See the pattern? No, it's not exactly life-and-death stuff, but some of it is still important stuff, and it frustrates me that I'm left feeling completely uninformed and out of the loop. The one last night especially hurt. I mean, it seems to me that your 16-year-old daughter wanting birth control is kind of a big deal, and you might want to talk about it with your wife and best friend!

Master says that I shouldn't be upset by this kind of thing because it's not like he's doing it on purpose. We actually kind of had a fight this morning because of this. I tell him that he keeps apologizing when it happens, but it's not like he's doing anything to change it or make it better. He says that he's trying harder. Okay... I'm not holding my breath for that one. I told him he could take notes, get a Blackberry and use that, send me a text message to remind him to tell me something, just DO SOMETHING about it! He says he doesn't understand why I get so upset about this; he's happy most of the time. Why do I have to find things to be upset about?

That just makes me feel like crap, like he thinks I'm sitting around looking for things to be upset or unhappy about. I told him that I'll just deal with it from now on, that it's like everything else - if he's happy and he's fine, then it must be MY problem. He says he wants me to tell him everything, including when I'm upset about stuff. But then I do and he acts like it's my problem that I'm upset about it and why can't I just leave it alone? Yes, thanks, that's so helpful. So then I just keep my mouth shut until I usually end up exploding at Master, and then he wants to know why I didn't say anything earlier. Sigh...

I just feel like pulling my hair out and screaming at the top of my lungs. Maybe then he'd see how much this all drives me crazy.

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Tuesday, January 20, 2009

New Diet

(This was an email I received recently. Enjoy!)

Yesterday I bought 2 large bags of Purina dog chow at Walmart, for my dogsI was about to check out when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think, that I had an elephant?

Since I had little else to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn'thave a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time.

On the bright side though, I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of every hole in my body and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and the way it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the Purina dog food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

(I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was enthralled with my story by now.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food had poisoned me.

I told her no; I had stopped in the middle of the parking lot to lick my butt and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard!

WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore.


Sunday, January 18, 2009

Crotch on Fire

I'm not sure exactly how long it's been going on, but lately I've been feeling... disconnected from Master. Disconnected. That's the best way I know how to describe it. This was one of our "no boy" weekends since John was at his mom's. We basically have "no boy" weekends to ourselves since Alice works a good part of the weekend and is usually asleep or in her room when she's not.

Master and I made plans to do stuff together on Saturday. We didn't do everything we'd planned on, but we did go to a "naughty" store. We bought 3 books. I know what you're thinking - "You went to the naughty store and you bought BOOKS?" Yes, we did. I'll tell about them some other time, but one of them was an erotic massage book. So, we stopped off at the drugstore on the way home for some KY Touch Massage Oil, some of the warming stuff. Has anyone else ever used this stuff? It says on the bottle that it's okay for contact with intimate areas, which is why we got it.

We get home, and Master reads some of the massage book while I read some of another one. Then we start kissing and Master tells me to lie in the middle of the bed. He gets the oil and starts massaging. The oil didn't really feel warming on my skin, but it was fine, certainly not cold. Eventually Master gets to my... intimate area. I was feeling pretty good, but then... HOLY CRAP, MY CROTCH IS ON FIRE!!!!!! "Stop! Just stop!" You can imagine how surprised and confused Master was as I'm whimpering and telling him that it burns. I get up and do a funny little run to the bathroom so I can try to pee, which didn't work since I'd already peed about 20 minutes before that. I asked Master to get a paper towel with cold water for me. That helped quite a bit. Needless to say, I absolutely would NOT recommend using that warming oil on your intimate area!! (I'm trying to decide if the regular oil would maybe be okay. Any suggestions?)

Not quite the erotic massage we were hoping for, although we did get back to it later. We were laughing about it, though. Yes, we laugh at pain in this house! And even though it threw a bit of a wrench into things, what else can bring a couple together like one of them having their crotch on fire?

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Thursday, January 15, 2009

Trip Pictures

Palo Duro Canyon... from outside the actual park

A longhorn at Palo Duro park

My cousin Robyn

I'm not sure what the back is made of. Horse hair, maybe? This is at the Ranch Heritage place.

Don't squat in spurs!

This was my artistic photo from the trip. I know, I need to practice. lol

I love this chair thing! I totally want one... just not in that fabric.

Granddad and Mom looking at saddles at Ranch Heritage

Crazy cactus! (I don't know what kind of cactus it actually is.)

Some of Dad's cotton modules

Me with Jesse's horses that he keeps on Dad's farm

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Monday, January 12, 2009

Texas Trip

I was writing a big, long post about our trip, but it was getting so long, even I was tired of it. So I'll sum up. We drove a lot a lot a lot. We left that Saturday morning and got into Lubbock early afternoon on Tuesday. Coming back, we left Lubbock early on the next Saturday morning and got home about 3:30 AM on Monday. Fortunately, we had good roads the majority of the time, although we'll definitely never be doing that drive again during the winter, if ever. We passed several spots on the interstate in WY and CO and maybe MT (I don't remember for sure) where they had these arms like at a railroad crossing, but they were for closing the interstate because of bad road conditions! You know, if they have something permanent in place to close the roads, that's not a good sign. I'm so relieved that we didn't have to stop for closed roads!

I'd like to put in a little plug for a part of the country that doesn't get a lot of attention, I don't think. My friends, if you ever have the chance, please check out Wyoming and/or Montana. A lot of what we drove through was quite scenic. It's a beautiful part of the States and probably a part that gets overlooked a lot. Please go - I might even drive down to say hi! (Just maybe don't go during the winter.)

I really enjoyed our time in Lubbock, and I think Master had a fairly good time. I don't really expect him to have as much fun as I do hanging out with people he doesn't know as well. It means a lot to me that we went, though. My granddad is 93, so who knows if we'll ever have the chance to spend time with him again? I'm so glad that Master got to meet him and spend some time around him, and vise versa. I also finally got to show my granddad my wedding ring, which, as you may remember, uses the diamonds from my grandmother's ring.

Mostly, it just means a lot to me that Master got to meet and get to know more of my people. He'd technically met my brother before, but it was literally for about 15 minutes, so now they've actually spent some time around each other and had conversations. Master got to meet my cousin Robin and her two kids, as she got there about 30 minutes after we did on Tuesday and spent most of the rest of that day there with all of us. Robin is a hoot, and I just don't get to spend much time with her, but I always enjoy it when I do. I think Master enjoyed it too.

He also got to meet the Martins, which is a couple about 5-10 or so years younger than my parents. I've known them my entire life. My parents went to church with Nancy's family when she was a teenager, and took her with them on a trip to Lubbock to check out a college there. She ended up going to school there, which is where she met Kurt. Kurt worked for my granddad on the farm while he was in college. My dad performed their wedding when they got married. You can see where this is going, yes? They're basically family to us. They picked up Mom and Brother at the airport on Tuesday and got to the house about a half hour after Robin did. They stayed for a little while then, but also came back on Wednesday for lunch with us. I enjoy spending time with them, and I'm glad that Master got to know them a little too.

We did all the gifting stuff Wednesday night, Christmas Eve, as is the tradition when we go to Lubbock. So on Christmas we were just taking it easy. We drove out to the farm that afternoon. All the cotton had already been harvested, but the modules were still there. Master had never been on a cotton farm before, as it isn't grown this far north. The absolute flatness of it all reminded him of Saskatchewan, though.

While we were there, Jesse came by to unlock the little house for us. Memaw and Dad (my granddad) lived out on the farm for a long time, moving into town when my dad was in his 20's. They sold the house and a bit of land with it, but kept the farm. There's a little building on the farm that we all call the little house - it's basically just a room with a counter and a kitchenette area, a couple closets, and a little closet-like room with a toilet. It's where Dad could go to have his lunch or if a sandstorm kicked up. Jesse is a Mexican man that's worked on the farm for Dad for several years, although this was the first time that I'd met him. I just knew that he did good work for Dad and that Dad really trusted him. It was seriously a trip to meet him! The Martins had just been telling us the day before about people in Texas - and probably other areas, I'm sure - who speak "Tex Mex." I'm assuming these are usually Hispanics; apparently they don't speak English well, but they don't really speak Spanish well either. Jesse probably speaks Spanish fine, but his English is definitely Tex Mex. We were all talking about it later and realized that none of us fully understood anything he said! For one thing, he talks fast. But then it's also a mix of English and Spanish, so... yeah. Good luck trying to figure that all out! I think Mom and I understood enough that we didn't seem rude and that we could kind of carry on a conversation. It was definitely interesting, though!

Friday we had to do some errands and such. I got my car washed, since, at the time, I was afraid to have it washed in Edmonton for fear it would just become a big block of ice and I wouldn't be able to open the doors. That afternoon, the 5 of us - Dad, Brother, Mom, Master, and me - went to this Ranch Heritage place that's near Texas Tech. Dad can't walk much these days; he has such problems with his knees. This place provides wheelchairs for people to us while we're there, so that's what Dad did. I don't know if it's any place I'd find terribly interesting on its own, but it was neat to hear Dad tell stories about stuff. I mean, how many people do you know who can see a covered wagon and talk about their memories of riding in them? So that part of it was cool.

That covers most of it. Master and I said good-bye to everyone Friday night since we were just going to be getting up and on the road early Saturday. Mom and Brother were flying out Saturday morning. As we were lying in bed at the hotel Friday night, I was telling Master how I was proud of myself that I didn't start to cry when I was saying good-bye to everyone that night, especially Dad. I'm always afraid that it's going to be the last time I see him. But, of course, telling Master how proud I was that I didn't cry... I started crying. You know, my family is crazy and they can drive me nuts sometimes and I'm usually glad that I don't live super close to them, but I love them. I really do. And I love spending time with them... in doses. I do miss them. But isn't that usually the way with family?

It was mostly a good trip and I'm really glad we did it. I can never quite put into words how it makes me feel to see Master bond with my people. It makes me smile and it gives me such a warm feeling. I like feeling like he's actually becoming part of my family. :)

(I'll be doing a second post that'll be mainly just pictures, so stay tuned!)

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Thursday, January 08, 2009


Mom sent this to me today by email. It's a good chuckle!

Lipstick in School

According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lip stick, they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.

Every night the maintenance man would remove them, and the next day the girls would put them back.

Finally the principal decided that something had to be done.. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night (you can just imagine the yawns from the little princesses).

To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required.

He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.

Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

There are teachers ... and then there are educators

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Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Quotes for Today

As you journey through life take a minute every now and then to give a thought for the other fellow. He could be plotting something.
-- Hagar the Horrible

I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat.
-- Will Rogers

Any woman who thinks the way to a man's heart is through his stomach is aiming about 10 inches too high.
-- Adrienne E. Gusoff

I have not lost my mind - it's backed up on disk somewhere.
-- Unknown


Saturday, January 03, 2009


This is the appetizer post about our trip to Texas. Yeah, I'm just slow and lazy.

Originally, Mom was going to help pay for one of our plane tickets to get to Texas, but when we decided to drive, she said she would pay for our hotel room in Lubbock. We could've stayed at Dad's house with her and Phil, but it would've been a little cramped. And this way Master and I had way more privacy. So we didn't argue!

She reserved a room for us at the Arbor Inn & Suites in Lubbock. It's apparently a pretty new place, although it looks like it's probably part of a chain. I'd never heard of it before. Since we originally thought John was coming with us, Mom reserved a "suite" kind of room. Jeff and I were pretty impressed with the room, especially considering that Mom only paid $99 a night for it! So I thought I'd share.

Our lovely bedroom: king sized bed, lamps and tables on both sides, TV and DVD player, even a safe in the closet!

The living room: another TV & DVD player and the sofa folds out into a bed, which is where John would've slept.

The kitchen: a full-sized fridge, microwave, toaster, 2 burner stove, and even a dishwasher! The only thing it was missing for a complete kitchen was an oven!

The bathroom: a large counter area, a decent shower, and the toilet was in it's own little closet for more privacy!

This was our little patio area outside the living room. Nice, eh?

This was the view of the pool we had from our patio. Granted, I took the picture without including the fence, but even that wasn't bad. Pretty nice place, isn't it? I would definitely recommend Arbor if you ever have the chance!

This little sign was at a place Master and I stayed at one night on the way down. I'm sorry it's a little blurry; I'm not sure why that happened. I just thought it was a funny way to discourage people from taking things!

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