Friday, July 31, 2009

It's Official!!

I got the job!! I start on Tuesday!! Yea yea yea!!! :D

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Thursday, July 30, 2009

I'm almost employed

I got an email yesterday morning from the lady at the staffing place. She said that Job 2 was waiting until the staffing place heard back from a couple of my references, but then they would be issuing a formal job offer letter. Yea! So, since it wasn't formal yet, but I knew it was coming, I went ahead and called the guy I interviewed with for Job 1. I told him that I had a job offer coming, and that I'd probably rather have the job with his company, but that I didn't want to miss this other opportunity if he was thinking he'd go with someone else. He said he was actually glad that I called. The 2 guys that work under him as well as his boss are all on vacation and he's trying to cover for all of them. So he hasn't even had the time to interview everyone he's supposed to interview. And then he's going on vacation in a week or two. So that means that he won't get around to actually making a decision until September! He said he didn't want to make any promises, and that I should do what's going to be best for me, which means taking the other job at this point. It sounded a little like he would still consider me for the job, which I said was fine, and that he would contact me later if he chose to. I thanked him for his time and his input, because he told me exactly what I needed to know.

Yesterday afternoon I got another email from the staffing lady stating that they'd heard from the references and that Job 2 would be formally offering me the job in the next day or two. She also said that they would likely want me to start on Tuesday (Monday is a civic holiday here, so everyone's off). That means that this is probably my last week to not be working! The days go a whole lot faster when you know they're nearing an end!

So that's the latest. I don't officially have a job yet, but I'm pretty close, and I'm happy with the job I should be getting. I even like the fact that I can work there for a few weeks, and if Job 1 comes calling again, I can still consider it. That's really not a bad position to be in, although I do hate the idea of dumping one job for another after only a month or so. But I also know that I can't always make things so personal, so I shouldn't sweat it - and, of course, that's assuming that things even turn out that way. Anyway, I'm almost employed!

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Tuesday, July 28, 2009

This is today

I changed it back from the Adult Content setting. It was already annoying me having to click that OK every time. And since I don't have dirty pictures going on, I'm not going to sweat it.

I'm still waiting on the job stuff. I had a second interview with Job 2 yesterday afternoon. It went really well, and it makes me feel better about that job, if they were to offer it. I really, honestly think that either job would be good, although I still think I'd prefer Job 1, but just barely. They both said that they'll be making a decision this week, so I'm waiting. I just hope that either of them offer me a job!

Things with Master could be good. We had another, uh, heated discussion on Sunday afternoon. I even called off the whole D/s part of our relationship because it just doesn't seem to ever happen for us, and I'm getting tired of asking for it, waiting for it, blah blah blah. He didn't really talk to me the rest of the day. When he came home last night, things had thawed, but he said he didn't want to talk about things, he just wanted to make them better. Sounds good, right? Forgive me, but my attitude at this point is that I'll believe it when I see it. And when I'm still seeing it a month or two from now. I've taken his words at face value in the past, but then nothing changes. When that happens multiple times, it starts making me not take his words at face value. I need the action behind it before I'm a believer at this point. And you know what? I hate that. Because it's not really me, it's not my default nature. I tend to be an optimist and I tend to trust people, sometimes more than I should. I hate that that's changed for me in regards to my husband, at least in certain areas. Ugh. So, that's where things are right now. We'll see what happens going forward.

Any other questions? ;)

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Monday, July 27, 2009

I really don't know what I'm doing. About anything. Is it me or life? Am I screwing everything up or is this just how it goes? I just really don't know anything anymore.

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Friday, July 24, 2009

Little Update

So I heard from the staffing place about Job 2. (The staffing place I went to last week was mainly for this job, so I hear from them, not the job directly.) She said that they want me to come back for a second interview and meet a couple other people who couldn't be there for the first interview. So, obviously, that's a good sign! I'm due to go there on Monday afternoon.

I like that they also think that the interview went well and that they like me, possibly, for the job. I also like that this gives me a little more time to possibly hear from Job 1. I still haven't completely decided what I'll do if the situation plays out like I explained last time. I kind of feel like I have to just take it as it comes, because who really knows what's going to happen.

So, that's the latest. I appreciate the comments on my last post. To some extent, you all just echoed what I already think. I'll keep you all posted!!

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Wednesday, July 22, 2009

HELP!

I need some help with job stuff.

I had my interview for Job 1 yesterday morning, and I think it went well, but I'm not confident about that. The man I met with would be my manager, but it's apparent that he's not terribly used to conducting interviews. He didn't really ask that many questions, so I kept feeling like I had to just tell about myself without being prompted. That's hard for me to do. However, we talked for an hour and I think there was a good enough vibe going on. I just wish I felt more confident about that. Before I left, he told me that he'd probably be making a decision next week.

This afternoon was my interview for Job 2. Unlike the first one, this was a very structured interview. I met with three people, and they all had specific questions for me. I think I did pretty well. All three of them were nice, and we were even able to joke a little here and there. They had some good questions, and I feel like I had good answers for them. I'm not 100% sure that they'll offer me the job - because that seems rather presumptuous - but I also wouldn't be surprised if they do. Before I left, they told me that there was one other person to interview this afternoon, and then they'd probably make a decision fairly quickly, so I'm sure before the end of the week.

So here's my dilemma: while they are both good jobs and I think I could like either of them, I think I would prefer Job 1. But I won't know if Job 1 wants to hire me until after I've heard from Job 2. I realize that this dilemma is based partially on the assumption that they both offer me a job, and that might be kind of a leap, but I'm trying to figure some of this out ahead of time in case it comes up! So, IF Job 2 offers me the position, what do I do? I've thought about calling the HR person at Job 1, who I've spoken to a few times and she seems pretty nice, and just telling her the flat out truth, in the hopes of finding out something from their end before giving Job 2 an answer. But I don't know if that's the best thing to do. Can you all please offer some suggestions or ideas? Please please please? I'd appreciate any help!!!

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Monday, July 20, 2009

Starting Over

I have a job interview tomorrow morning and another one Wednesday afternoon. Of course, I'd love it if they both wanted me and I had my pick, but I'll be happy if one of them offers me a job. They both seem like good opportunities so far, so I think either of them would be good!

Master and I had a little getaway this weekend. It was hot on Saturday, so Master suggested late that morning that maybe we should get a hotel room for the night. John was at his mom's, so we didn't have the boys. We've also talked about finding a room with a jacuzzi before, but haven't wanted to spend the money. Funny how we decided to do it now that I'm unemployed! lol

Anyway, we found a room with a jacuzzi that wasn't too outrageously priced, so we booked it and went there a couple hours later. This hotel is across the street from where I take my car to get serviced, and it used to look a little run down on the outside, but they've fixed it up recently. And the inside was really quite nice, certainly nicer than I expected. Our room was on the fourth floor at the very end of the hall, which I thought was cool. Not a lot of noise from other people, you know? The room itself was great. It was a larger-than-usual room with everything in that one room: a king-sized bed, the jacuzzi, a desk, dresser with a flat screen TV on it, a mini-fridge and microwave, and even a couple stuffed chairs by a fake fireplace! I was rather impressed, really.

Master and I were trying to see this as part of a new start. After our important good night last Wednesday, we feel like we need to start from scratch. Well... that's easier said than done. At least for me. Saturday was good. Master played with me and I didn't orgasm, but I was okay with it at the time. We had sex (he orgasmed, I didn't). We ordered some food to be delivered and when it showed up the person tried to bring it in the room to set it down. I had to insist that I would take it and set it down... since Master was around the corner naked! (I did not tell the delivery person that.) After we ate, we soaked in the tub for a while. It was soooo relaxing!! After our soak, we watched TV for a bit.

The weather people had predicted a possible storm, and there was even a warning about it. As we soaked in the jacuzzi, it stormed some outside, but just a regular storm. I was watching a bad movie on TV later and Master was snoozing and a BIG FAT storm blew in. Literally. There had been some lightening outside for a bit, but all of a sudden there was this massive gust of wind. The kind where you see dirt and dust and paper and small children blow by. The walls even creaked a little. I woke Master up because I knew he'd want to see this. So we turned off the lights and the TV and watched the storm. It went on for quite a while, too. It was viciously windy and there was a LOT of lightening. It didn't seemed like it really rained that much, though. We had an awesome view of all the action, though, because of being on the fourth floor and there not being anything that tall right by us.

We saw some crazy flashes of light while we were watching the storm. They were obviously not lightening as they came from the ground and a couple of them were sort of green-blue in colour. So at 11 we turned on the news. Turns out that the power plants were flaring or something, which they supposedly always do when an electric storm hits. At least, that's what the news said. But it also said that part of a downtown building had collapsed... and then didn't say anything more about it! So we turned to a different station at 11:30 to watch that local forecast. They didn't say anything about the weird light flashes, but they did say that it was a pedway from the building that had collapsed. Not great, but better than the actual building falling apart.

Anyway, after all that, it was obviously after midnight before we got to bed. I thought I slept okay, and Master didn't snore that I recall, but I still felt tired in the morning, like I didn't sleep well. I got up to go to the bathroom and wanted to go back to sleep, but Master, uh, needed something. You know, something. So we did. The way he went about it kind of put me in a bad mood. Sometimes I feel torn between being his whore and completely at his disposal, and really not being in the mood.

This post is getting long, so I'm going to sum it up a little more. I was quiet and sulking for a couple hours and then Master and I had a big fight. I felt like, despite this supposedly new start, things hadn't really changed. I ended up apologizing to Master last night because we were supposed to giving things a new start, and I was bringing up stuff from the past. So I need to let it all go a little more. However, all that being said... I'm still a little hesitant. It seems like lately things have been broken enough between us that I've been more on my own, taking care of myself more, and that's a hard thing to just let go of overnight. I feel like it's going to take some time for me to let go of everything, like I built up some walls again. I'm not proud of that fact, but it is what it is.

So we're trying. I'm trying not to be pessimistic about it like I have been. I'm trying to be hopeful and I'm trying to put forth a better effort. I need our marriage to work.

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Sunday, July 19, 2009

Cute, funny story. Check it out, folks.

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Thursday, July 16, 2009

We had a good night last night. Maybe there's hope yet!

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

More Babbling

I have an appointment tomorrow morning with a staffing place. I had applied a few weeks ago for a job they had posted. So that's good. I also have an interview next week for a job with an energy company. So that's also good. I think either of these jobs could be good, so hopefully something will happen with one of them.

I'm still kinda blah these days. I was starting to feel a little more up, but then Master and I had a big... discussion type thing last night. It was kind of like round two of this stuff. For a few weeks, it seemed like the snoring was getting better. In the last week it's gotten bad all over again. He refuses to let me sleep somewhere else. Truth is, if there were another room in this house where I thought I could get a good night's sleep, I'd already be sleeping there. My two options are the living room, which is in the middle of the house and under Alice's room, so it's not exactly the quietest place. The other place is the 3rd bedroom upstairs, which is kind of storage and laundry. The window in that room doesn't work properly, so we can't open it, which makes it not a good place to be in the summer. It's also right by the kids' rooms, and they stay up later during the summer (and Alice stays up later year-round). Alice also listens to music all night - she claims she can't sleep without it - so it's not exactly quiet there either. So I just feel stuck, although if something doesn't change relatively soon, I might try sleeping in the living room for a while anyway.

Anyway, that's just part of the deal. Master's upset that I've lost faith in him. I explain to him why (if he repeatedly tells me he'll do stuff and then he doesn't, that makes me not trust that he'll do stuff he says he will going forward), he sees my point, but he's upset by it. I tell him that it's not like I can't regain that faith, that trust, but him telling me I should won't do it. I need him to do the things he says he'll do.

He thinks maybe we're broken. He might be right. I only wish I knew how to fix us.

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Monday, July 13, 2009

Take a Look Parte Dos

Johnston Canyon






Ground Squirrel at Johnston Canyon





Lake Louise





Mom checking out the scenery at Lake Louise



Lake Louise



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Friday, July 10, 2009

Take a Look

Since I don't have much to say just now, here are some photos from our trip to the mountains.


Abraham Lake





Master on Athabasca Glacier





Banff Park



Banff Park




Elk


I might post more later. Enjoy!

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Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Back to Reality

I took Mom to the train station early this morning. She's taking the train to Vancouver to then take a bus and then a rental car to near Seattle to visit her uncle and cousins there. My great-uncle turns 90 this year, so Mom wanted to visit. After that she'll drive down to Oregon and visit her one brother and his family there for a couple days. Then she'll finally fly home.

I didn't cry when we said good-bye, but I cried a little on the way home. It's that thing where I felt like I was ready for the visit to be over and for things to get back to normal, but I was still sad for her to leave. Anyone else ever have that?

Part of what makes me sad is that I don't know when I'll see her again. I had been planning a trip to OH sometime this fall, since I haven't been back since I came up here, but with now having to find a new job, there's a good chance that won't happen. Master and I are planning on going to Cali next June when my cousin gets married, so that might be our next time with Mom. Nearly a year from now. Sigh.

So now it's back to reality. I'm still unemployed. I've only heard back about one job that I've applied for. I should be having an interview for it next week sometime. I've got a bit of a cushion, so we're okay for now, and there are other options if I need to take them. But it does worry me that there just doesn't seem to be a lot out there right now.

Things between Master and me are... things. I just don't know how to feel sometimes. The week I lost my job, I felt really close to him. Since then it just seems to have gone back to how it was before. I feel disconnected and like I'm just going through the motions. I guess I'm just blah right now.

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