Monday, August 30, 2010

Um. Ouch

I had my dentist's appointment today.  Oh, the fun.  I got to thinking about it after it was over and I was driving away, trying to figure out how long it'd been since I'd been to the dentist for a regular check-up and cleaning.  (I went to a different dentist a few months after I moved here because I had to have one of my wisdom teeth pulled.  If you missed it, here's the post.)  I do believe it's been eight years.  Eight years!  Man, I will never wait nearly that long again.  The hygenist had to work so hard to get all the "build-up" off of my bottom teeth that she didn't even have time for my top teeth!  Yuck and ow.  Then the dentist - a woman who's probably around my age - came in and decided that I probably have four cavities.  I don't know if this is good or bad, but three of those are my three remaining wisdom teeth.  But that means that instead of filling them, she wants to pull them.  They're going to check with my insurance to see what they'll cover and how much it'll cost me.  In the meantime, I have another appointment in about a month - because that's when they could first fit me in - to have my top teeth cleaned and my cavity filled.  Gee, I can hardly wait.

People, learn from my mistake.  Please go to the dentist regularly if at all possible.


Thursday, August 26, 2010


I still don't have the whole separation agreement thing sorted out with Master.  I think what might end up happening is that we go ahead and fill out the divorce paperwork and file it, even though it won't become official until next year.  (I think I may have mentioned this before, but in Canada, unless there is abuse or infidelity, you have to be separated for a year before you can be divorced.)  That documentation I think would suffice as a separation agreement.  Apparently Master already has the divorce kit, which you can buy at a bookstore or other places here.  I emailed him today that I just want it to be done.  I want this to be over.  I think I need to go back to not communicating with him for a while.  It just hurts too much.

I met Ginny after work today to have dinner at Fatburger.  Yum!  She's quickly becoming a pretty good friend, which makes me happy.  Last Saturday we went on a "yarn crawl" - as opposed to a pub crawl.  There's a few yarn stores in the city that I've never been to, mainly because they're completely out of the way and I wasn't really even sure how to get to them.  I'm still not, really, but Ginny drove and so we had our little yarn field trip.  I bought some great yarn for my stash and spent too much money, but I love what I bought and we had a good time.  Did you know that they now make yarn out of milk?!  Some of these fibres just amaze me.  Anyway, if I get around to taking pictures of my new yarn, I'll try to post pictures.  It's beautiful and colourful and I can't wait to make things out of it - but I have to finish some other projects first!

Things at work are busy and crazy right now.  We're in the process of launching a new program for our members and we're sending out the contracts this week.  Then we have a fairly quick deadline for the majority of these contracts, so it's going to continue to be crazy for the next few weeks.  In the long run, this will be much better for us overall and will actually create less work than what we have to do right now.  But we have to get to that point first.  I hope the next few weeks go quickly because I'm not happy about this madness.  At least it's temporary and my job isn't typically like this.

A couple weeks ago I bought a plane ticket to finally go back to Ohio!!!!  I really, really cannot wait.  I'll be there for a week and I'm already making plans to get together with Meat and Jiffy.  It's been way way way too long since I've seen them!  I'll also finally get to meet Brother's girlfriend.  They started dating right about the time I moved up here, which means that they've been together for a few years now, but I still haven't met her.  So I'm looking forward to that.  They've already told Mom that they want to have us over for dinner while I'm in town.  Can't wait!!

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Saturday, August 21, 2010

Knitting Stuff

I recently finished a scarf for one of my cousins.  I used a stitch pattern I found in volume one of the Stitchionary and it creates a double-faced fabric.

I also recently started my very first actual garment.  It's basically just a tank top.  I figured I'd start with something simple that didn't have sleeves!  I'm not a very fast knitter at this point so it's going to take me a while, but I'm happy to be making this step.  Here's a picture of just the beginning part:

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Monday, August 16, 2010

The Waiting Game

I made an appointment with a dentist today.  I've never really a dentist here in Edmonton, so I just found one by work and called there.  It'll be my first time with a female dentist.  Anyway, my appointment isn't for two weeks, so now I'm just waiting.

After collecting my urine for 24 hours on Saturday/Sunday morning (oh, the fun), I went to the lab to give it to them and have some more blood drawn for the couple other tests my doc wants to run for my hair loss.  They usually have the results within a couple days, so I called today thinking I'd make an appointment for Friday.  But it turns out that my doctor is on vacation, and I didn't think it'd be worth seeing the doc covering for him, so my appointment with his is also not for a couple weeks.  More waiting.

I worked up a separation agreement and emailed it to Master.  He says we don't need it, which I think he's probably right about, as I've stated before.  But, as I keep telling him, I don't want to be one of those people who's sure that their ex won't do something like that to them, and then they end up getting screwed.  He's concerned that a lawyer will say that the agreement means something other than how we intended it.  *sigh*  A lawyer is never even going to see this agreement!  We're going to file for our divorce on our own, since there's basically nothing to split and no spousal support or anything.  I told him that I would rather amend the wording in the agreement and then sign it, rather than disregard it.  That was just earlier today, so we'll see.  More waiting.

In other news, I recently started knitting my very first actual garment!  It's basically a nice tank top, although I don't do sleeveless, so I'll be wearing it over top of something else.  I haven't gotten very far with it and I know it's going to take a good while to complete it since I'm not a fast knitter, but that's okay.  I've got other projects I'm also working on, like a baby alpaca scarf for myself, so it's all good!

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Saturday, August 14, 2010

Uh Oh

I have a tooth that's hurting.  It's been gradually coming.  I've been putting off going to the dentist, but I don't think I'll be able to wait much longer.  I'm not happy about this.


Monday, August 09, 2010

Separation Agreement

Ginny and I went out to dinner last night.  It was fun.  We laughed about our waiter who looked so bored and uncomfortable every time he came to our table.  We might have been offended, but I think he looked that way with everyone else too.

Ginny's a couple years older than I am.  She was married for several years before she and her husband split up.  They were separated for a few years before the divorce came through earlier this year.  I was telling her that Master and I are going to have a pretty easy divorce, no lawyers involved or anything, because there's really nothing to split.  There are no kids involved, nothing financial to split up, it's just a matter of ending our marriage.  Ginny said she's glad for that but she did have a suggestion.  She said we should have a separation agreement as a way to protect ourselves.  He told me about how, right after she and her husband separated, he went out and ran up thousands of dollars in debt.  Fortunately, they had a separation agreement so she wasn't responsible for any of it.

I'm considering doing this.  I don't really think that Master would do anything that stupid.  I can honestly say that he's been financially responsible his entire life and doesn't have any debt other than the "usual" stuff like mortgage and car loan.  But I also wouldn't have expected him to have another woman that he's just met move in with him a month after I move out.  If she weren't there, I don't know if I'd bother.  But I'm a little worried that she might either talk him into something stupid or she might go behind his back and/or lie to him and run up bills without him even realizing.  Just because he trusts her - and trusted her very quickly - doesn't mean that I feel the same way or should feel the same way.

Anyway, I'm debating.  Would it be worth the possible bad reaction that Master might have to my making this request that I don't really think will be necessary?  Is it worth having to contact him again before I think I'm ready in order to accomplish this?  Or should I just leave well enough alone?

I hate that I'm even having to think about this.

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Sunday, August 08, 2010

Not Myself

I'm in a funk.  Maybe it's because I cut off communication with Master, maybe it's just everything, I don't know.  Candy at work on Friday told me that I didn't seem like my usual chipper self.  I told her that I wasn't.  Yesterday I saw Ginny for a little while at the yarn store and she emailed me later to say she hoped I was okay because I didn't seem like myself.  I'm seeing a trend here.

I just hope it doesn't stay around too long.

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Wednesday, August 04, 2010


I did it.  I told Master we should take a break.  Here's the email I sent him last night:

I don't think I can do this. I can't do just emailing with you. It seriously makes me feel like I'm sneaking around to be in touch with you. It makes me feel like "the other woman" when I'm still legally your wife. And that makes me feel like crap. Just really bad crap.
So I think it would be best if we just didn't communicate for a while. I need to recover, not be stuck in this cycle of always feeling bad when I hear from you. I really wanted to be your friend, and I truly hope that we can still get to that point. But I can't right now. I think I wanted so badly to keep our friendship that I've been sacrificing my own emotional well-being as a result. I need to take care of myself first. No one else is going to.
If you want to reply to this email, that's fine. As always, I'd be curious what your thoughts are. But if not, that's okay too. You can call me if/when you feel you're ready to really be my friend, or I'll get in touch with you when I think I'm ready.
Please take care of yourself.

Here's his reply this morning:

I email back and forth everyday with several of my customers, all but one of them female, it's just email.
But I respect your feelings.
You take care of yourself too.

I was really tempted to reply to say that I'm NOT one of his customers and to compare me to them is just... dumb?  Cheapens our relationship?  I don't know.  I understand the point he's trying to make, but I just don't think it applies in our situation.  In any case, I didn't reply.  I figured that it wouldn't change anything and might just make it worse.  So... no more Master for a while.

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