Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Something's off.  I don't know if it's the holidays or if everything is just catching up to me or what, but I'm not myself.  I'm depressed.  I called in sick to work today because I just couldn't deal with... people and work and everything.  It's only been the last couple days, but it's bad.  It's not PMS either.  I think I'm going to look into some sort of counseling or therapy or something.  I know my extended health coverage will pay for some stuff, so it won't be completely out of pocket for me to do so.  I feel like I just need something more right now.

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Tuesday, November 23, 2010

(un)grateful

I keep forgetting that this Thursday is American Thanksgiving because, of course, it's not Thanksgiving up here.  It's regular Thursday up here.  I don't get a Thanksgiving this year.  I was in the States for Canadian TG and I'm in Canada for American TG.  I was (jokingly) telling people that I'm just completely ungrateful this year!

Truth is, I am finding it hard to be grateful right now.  It's been such a crappy year for me.  My marriage has ended and I've been more hurt than I ever thought would happen.  I'm living in a city and a country where I basically have no one.  It hit me just today that I'm not anyone's priority here.  I didn't have anyone to pick me up from the airport when I came back because the few people here that I could even ask were all busy with other things and being with the people that are their priorities.  I just... I hate feeling so frickin' alone.

On the other hand, I've also learned how many people in my life love me and care about me and are supporting me, even from far away.  I have wonderful friends and family.  Even though things have been a little rough lately, I'm still glad for my job and like my co-workers.  

I'm trying to focus on those things, the good things, and be grateful for them.  It's just hard right now.

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Thursday, November 18, 2010

I'm feeling a little blah tonight.  I think it's just that I'm tired and the weather sucks right now.  It's snowed most of the last two days, although I think it's stopped now.  It only got up to about -12 C today too.  I had to shovel a little when I got home from work, and I hate shovelling.  I'm only responsible for the area where I park, so it's not too bad, really.  I didn't even shovel the whole thing, just either side of the car, since it wasn't too deep underneath Peachie.  I still hated it.

Work has been better than I thought it was going to be this week.  Candy was out sick Monday and Tuesday.  She had strained some muscles moving furniture or something.  When she came back on Wednesday she was in a good mood and has stayed in a fairly good mood.  She's more like her old self, which is good.  After two days, I'm not convinced that everything is fine and dandy again, but it seems like at lease we're moving in that direction.  I'd still like to have a conversation with her soon about what has happened, but I know she's behind on things right now so I think I'll wait until maybe next week.

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Sunday, November 14, 2010

Day of the Dread

I'm dreading this week.  Well, maybe that's a little strong.  I just have a feeling that it's not going to be a good week at work.  I think Candy's mood and attitude is starting to improve, so that's good.  But she's still been acting kind of like she thinks I'm doing a crappy job.  That was as of Wednesday, though, since we were all off on Thursday and Candy took off on Friday.  

When I spoke with our HR person a couple weeks ago about the situation, she suggested that Candy and I have a conversation once she gets back to normal, and I agreed with that suggestion.  (Our organization really encourages honesty and open communication, which, generally speaking, I like and appreciate.)  I do still want to have that conversation with her, but of course the timing has to be right or I know it won't be a good, productive conversation.  I have a feeling something - whether it's that conversation or something else - will probably happen this week in regards to the situation.  I just hope it's something good and that things can go back to normal.  I'm tired of dreading going to work every day.

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Sunday, November 07, 2010

Short

I keep meaning to come back and blog about my trip to Lake Louise and other stuff, but I just never get around to it or don't feel like it or whatever.  I still don't really feel like it.  So I'll sum up.  My trip to Lake Louise was really nice and I enjoyed it.  I'm thinking about having another weekend to myself in late spring or early summer, but this time head to Jasper.  Maybe kind of a late birthday gift to myself.  Considering that I live only a few hours from the mountains, I really should go there more often.  It's breathtakingly beautiful there, and I always come away feeling better than when I arrived.

Work is a bit rough right now.  Things have calmed down with this new project, and I've been doing better at my job since returning from Ohio.  But Candy (my manager) has been super stressed lately because of things she's having to work on, and so she's been moody, pissy, abrupt, etc. for the last few weeks.  She's starting to nitpick at everything that Lizzy and I do, and both of us are pretty fed up with it.  I had a little discussion with our HR person last week because I just wanted her to be aware of what was going on and so I could get input from her about the situation.  It was a good conversation.  She basically said she was glad that I came to her about it, and suggested that I give it another week to give Candy the chance to sort of "come down" from all the stress.  If it's still an issue, then let her know.  She also gave me a suggestion as to a subtle comment I could make to Candy once she does relax, to maybe make her a little more aware of how different her behavior has been the last month.  I'm hoping this week will be better and the situation will sort itself out.  It helps that we have off this Thursday for Remembrance Day (aka Veterans Day).

Everything else is good.  I'm still knitting like a fiend.  I went over to Ginny's last night and hung out with her and another girl that she works with.  She made a martini for me with vodka that was bubble gum flavoured!  It was pretty yummy!  We watched Get Him to the Greek which was really funny, in my opinion.  "Stroke the furry wall."  HA!!

Well, this was longer than I thought it would be, but at least now we're all caught up.  

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Monday, November 01, 2010

Speechless





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