Monday, December 27, 2010

Post-Christmas Post

Mom left this morning to head home.  Her flight was delayed leaving Edmonton, so I'm hoping she makes her connection in Chicago and still gets home tonight as planned.  We had a really nice visit, but I was glad for her to go.  Like I've had my fill.  I know she's kind of worried about me, but I feel like she's overanalyzing about stuff right now, and I do not like that.  I'm still glad she was here for a little visit, though.

Back to work tomorrow.

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Monday, December 20, 2010

704

This is my 704th post.  This is vital information that I needed to share with you.

Mom arrives on Wednesday for a Christmas visit.  I still have mixed feelings about it.  Truth is, I know it'll go fast.  She's here for five days.  We haven't planned a ton of stuff, but we'll be doing enough.  And I want her to really relax and just enjoy herself.  I think we're going to watch movies at home and maybe go see one in the theatre on Christmas Day.  I've already told her that I don't want us to spend a bunch of time cooking and stuff, because it's just the two of us.  And even though it would be really nice to have a four-day weekend to myself, I also know that I'd probably be really depressed to spend Christmas by myself - although I've had a couple people invite Mom and me for Xmas dinner, so I know I'd probably join Lizzy or Ginny if Mom weren't here.  So I'm glad she'll be here so I'm not alone on Christmas Day.

I hope you all have a Merry Christmas!!

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Thursday, December 16, 2010

blah blah blah

I'm looking forward to the new NBC show with Kathy Bates, "Harry's Law," that'll be starting in January.  I like Kathy Bates, so it'll be fun to see her on TV.

I've found a disadvantage to where I'm living now.  Apparently, when it's windy, things get blown into my corner.  The way this house/condo is that I'm in the basement of, it's kind of like an innie corner outside.  Which means that when it's been snowing and windy all day, I come home to a snow drift where I would normally park Peachie.  Oh, goody.  I parked on the street and came outside three different times to try to shovel it all.  I got it pretty much done, with a little help from one of my upstairs neighbors.  I left some at the end and just stomped it down a little and then drove over it.  I try to use my legs and not my back, but my back is still sore.  I have to lift the shovel up in order to dump it on top of the bushes next to where I park, so that doesn't help.  Of course, then when I go to move my car from the street to my actual spot, I was a little stuck in the snow on the street.  It really only took maybe five minutes, going back and forth, to get out of the rut, but it felt like an eternity and I was afraid I wasn't going to be able to.  It just all sucked.  Kind of makes me mad at XM that I moved here and was willing to put up with worse winters in order to be with him, and now...

The nice part is that I'll get the afternoon off of work tomorrow.  We do a team activity at Christmas, but the budget is a little tight, so Candy didn't want to do anything big.  So she, Lizzy, and I are going out for a nice lunch and then she said we could just have the rest of the day for ourselves!  It's not exciting, but you know I'll take it.  I'm looking forward (and a little nervous) to giving them the scarves I knit for them.  I think things are finally getting better at work and back to normal.  Candy seems more like her old self.  I think her review with our president hit home for her how she's been and how it can't be like that.  I had my review with her on Tuesday and it went really well.  She apologized for being crappy and flat out told me to call her out on it in the future if it comes up again.  We had good discussions about a few different things, and I feel really good about things again.  That makes me feel better and it makes me happy.

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Monday, December 13, 2010

Dislike

I hate driving here in the winter.  I'm always afraid.  I'm seriously going to buy winter tires once I have my inheritance.  Unless this winter is nearly over and then I'll wait until next fall.  I know it makes a difference and I hate being so afraid and anxious about it.

On another note, I've apparently been on Facebook long enough that I know want to click "Like" when I'm on entirely different websites, maybe after reading an article or a blog post.  Does anyone else experience this?

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Tuesday, December 07, 2010

Update

So here's a quick run down of the latest goings on around here:

I had an appt with my regular doc last Friday to get a recommendation for a counselor.  But then he was suddenly going to be out of the office that day and all this week (I'm guessing family emergency) so I rescheduled for Monday with one of the other docs in the clinic.  It was a complete waste.  He gave me the card of a psychologist, but basically said that I could just look around and find someone else in the area if she didn't fit what I wanted.  Gee, thanks.

I found a psychology/counseling office near work and not too far from home.  I called this morning and left a message, but I haven't heard anything back yet.

We have two reviews at work every year and I have my year-end one next week.  I think overall it'll be okay, but I'm still nervous.  My manager, Candy, has hers the day before mine.  Our organization typically has the boss email others in the org. that work closely with the person being reviewed to get their input.  I emailed my input on Candy this afternoon.  It makes me a little nervous because I was honest about how things have been going lately.  However, I was careful to not just have a bunch of complaints, but to give compliments and suggestions as to how things can improve.  I even had a couple other people there that I trust read what I wrote before I sent it, and they both thought it was good.  So maybe things will get back to normal at some point.

XM and I are still emailing a little.  I haven't actually seen or spoken to him since he took me to the airport when I went to Ohio, which has been about two months ago.  I don't think I'm getting better any more.  I just find that I'm so hurt and angry, and it's not going away.  It ticks me off that his other woman is still there even though he told me two months ago that he was finished with her.  It really pisses me off that he's making Alice move out now, even though when I said I wasn't willing to live with her any more (this was when we were already separating), he said he wasn't willing to make her move out because even though he hated living with her, he wanted to make sure she could afford university.  (I will say that I'm not going to believe that he's actually making her move out until she's actually gone, since he's claimed more than once that he's making her move out.  Just not at the point that I ask for it.)  When we separated, XM thought that Alice was great and she was finally maturing and growing up.  I told him that I didn't buy it.  I told him that she was being nice because she had everything she wanted exactly how she wanted it, so of course she's going to be a lot less bitchy.  But I could still she the bitchy side peek out enough to know that she hadn't changed.  There's a part of me that wants to yell, "I TOLD YOU SO!!!"  But I won't.  It just seems like there have been a lot of things over the course of our relationship where I've stated something that XM didn't agree with... and eventually I was proven right.  I was very careful to never say, "I told you so," but I secretly hoped and continue to hope that maybe he's realizing that on his own.  Knowing him?  He probably isn't and never will.

My mom is coming for 4-5 days over Christmas.  It'll be just the two of us.  On one hand I'm looking forward to it and on the other hand... it's a four-day weekend that I don't get to myself in my own space.

I love knitting.

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Wednesday, December 01, 2010

My new scarf

A while back my aunt in California sent me a couple skeins of deep purple (Eggplant) Cotton Supreme yarn.  Isn't that nice?  She said she knew I got cold up here and thought I could knit myself a scarf.  I'm not normally a big fan of cotton yarn, but Cotton Supreme is really nice and much softer than most cotton yarn that I've felt.  Anyway, I like colour, so decided to split the skeins and make two different scarves.  I finished the first one a few days ago and wove in the ends tonight.  I paired it with Mini Mochi yarn, which is merino wool, and has great colours.  I just used one skein of each for this scarf!





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