Friday, April 29, 2011

Art & Animals

More photos from my Jasper trip...

This is my one "artistic" photo:




A friendly squirrel:



Elk:





And big horn sheep:



Right outside the car!


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Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Cozy Little Room

I'll make a few posts of my pictures from Jasper.  I had a really nice trip and I'm so glad that I went.  I'll just post a couple pictures this time - of my hotel room!  It was more like part of a cabin, but nice.  These pictures a little dark because there wasn't great lighting, but you can see it well enough, I think.



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Thursday, April 21, 2011

So much for getting better

I was just let go from my job.  

I wanted some time off, so I guess I've got it now.  I'm leaving tomorrow to head to Jasper for the weekend, which was planned a while ago.  I think I'm just going to not think about it too much right now.  I'll take some time - maybe a week - and just relax and enjoy.  I'll think about it, to be sure, but I don't think I'm going to make any real decisions right away.

I'm really not sure what comes next.

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Saturday, April 16, 2011

It can only get better from here... right?

I had a good appointment with my therapist last week.  She made me feel better about the anxiety I've been feeling.  I told her that I wasn't surprised that it was happening, but that I was surprised that it's happening now.  I would've expected this six months ago or something.  She said that there are two things that can contribute to this.  First, when there's a big event like this, people often go into "survival mode" at first.  Meaning that I was only dealing with immediate needs and issues, and not dealing with long-term effects.  Second, people can be distracted by other things going on and it's only once those other things go away that we're basically forced to deal with what's going on.  That one made me go, "Ooohhh."  It made a lot of sense when I think back to the fact that the new program at work started only a couple months after my separation, it's kept me busy for months, and there have been the issues between Candy and me at work.  So now that these issues have gone away or are going away... I'm just left with my issues.  It was honestly a relief to feel like I'm not crazy to be experiencing this.

Even though that part made me feel better, overall I still felt like crap.  Just blah and depressed.  I had my regular check up with my regular doctor - which I do every few months after my regular diabetic bloodwork - yesterday, so I talked to him about it a little, of course.  He suggested that I keep going with the counselling, but he also gave me a prescription for a low-dose antidepressant.  I dropped it off at the pharmacy after work, so I'll pick it up on Monday.  I think just knowing that I have the script is making me feel a little better.  It makes me feel like I don't have to try to do this all on my own, like I don't have to just talk about it and analyze everything and struggle through it on my own.  That, too, is kind of a relief.

It's going to be a quiet week at work because most of the office will be gone at our convention, which is held out of town, so that will be nice.  Candy will only be in the office on Thursday.  Plus it's a short week since the office is closed for Good Friday.  Of course, that's when I'll be heading to Jasper for my weekend away.  I'm still really looking forward to it!  And since the office is closed again for Easter Monday, I'll have another short work week.  So maybe all of these things combined is helping me to feel a little better, which only started yesterday afternoon.

Oh, and the fact that we got about 4 inches of snow on Thursday didn't help!

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Wednesday, April 06, 2011

Off

Something's off.  I'm off.  I'm having a lot of anxiety right now.  Social anxiety, I guess?  As in... I'm having trouble making myself leave the house to go anywhere, including to work.  Which is why I'm home today.  I get so anxious that I make myself nauseated, although I don't actually get sick.  This has happened to me before, when I was living in Chicago.  I never really found a good solution to it, I just eventually moved away and it hasn't been so much of an issue for me here until recently.  The good news is that I have my next counselling appointment tomorrow so I can talk to her about it.  I just really hate feeling this way and yet I don't know how to make it go away.

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