Thursday, November 24, 2011

Sometimes it's good to feel nothing

When I moved out of XM's house, nearly a year and a half ago now, I mistakenly left behind a jewelry box.  Now, this is not a fancy nor special jewelry box.  It was really just something to keep mostly earrings in.

Anyway, I didn't even realize I'd left it until earlier this year.  I asked XM about it and he said that it was at the house and he'd bring it by sometime.  I rarely wear jewelry, so I was in no big rush to get the box back, so that was fine with me.  That was months ago, so I texted him about it again not long ago.  Turned out that he was going to be in my area of the city a couple weeks ago, the same day that I had to go to the US Consulate.

Initially I didn't think I'd be home in time and told him that he could just leave it under the doormat, since I didn't think it'd be too much longer before I got home, so I wasn't worried about someone taking it.  However, when I got home, it wasn't there, so I knew XM hadn't come by yet.  So I sent him a text to let him know I was home.  He asked if he should ring the bell or go ahead and leave it under the doormat anyway.  I knew he was asking because it had always been hard for me to see him since we split up.  I told him he could ring the bell, but I was second guessing myself even as I sent the text.  It had been several months since I'd last seen him - what would it be like?  Was it still going to upset me?  I was having a decent day, did I want to ruin it?

It turns out I was worried for no reason.  When XM got here, we chatted for a little while, about our families and stuff like that.  There was nothing.  I wasn't sad or upset at all.  No anger.  When he left, I was so happy that I nearly jumped up and down!  I still don't know that he and I will ever really be friends, but at least I know that I can see him and talk to him without getting upset.  It felt like a big milestone.  I'm really healing and moving on.

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Sunday, November 20, 2011

Yakkety Yak

It's late, so this will be brief, but I want to let you all in on the latest stuff.

Everything went well on my trip to the US Consulate in Calgary and I actually received my new passport in the mail this past week.  So I can now travel outside of Canada again!  I've already purchased a plane ticket to Ohio to spend Christmas at my mom's, so I'm looking forward to that.

I finally heard from Tim again last week.  Basically the reason I hadn't heard from him was because his wife had come to town to work on a job with his crew.  So he couldn't call me during the day or at night!  We've spoken a few different nights, so it was good to hear from him and feel like we caught up a little.  I presented the idea to him of trying to meet up somewhere, maybe for a weekend, sometime after Christmas.  He liked that idea.  I said that we didn't need to figure anything out now, but just to be thinking it over.  I think we've at least decided where we'll meet because there is a city to which I can fly direct and it's not a super long drive for Tim to get to.  So we might finally get to see each other early next year!

Has anyone seen the movie "The Tree of Life?"  I can't make up my mind about it, although the music is wonderful.

I barely left the house yesterday and haven't set foot outside today.  Why?  Because it is so frickin' cold outside.  It only got up to -18 C, which is about -1 F.  And that was the high.  Without windchill.  Fortunately, after another cold day tomorrow - which I'll be spending watching football anyway - it gets better on Monday and we might even get slightly above freezing on Tuesday and Wednesday!  So at least we're not in the permanent winter deep freeze just yet.  Hallelujah.

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Monday, November 14, 2011

Words of Wisdom

My words of wisdom for the day, given to Kyra, "If someone is going to be with you, they should have to impress you, not apologize to you."

Her words of wisdom given to me last night, "Don't you hate it when you find a good one and then they end up being a drug addict or married?

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Tuesday, November 08, 2011

My next post might be from a holding cell

I have to go on a little one-day road trip tomorrow.  I'm anxious about it, although I shouldn't be.  As you probably all know, I've been doing all the name change stuff to go back to my maiden name.  I've gotten just about all of it taken care of.  Back in September, I sent off my passport in order to get that changed even though I just renewed it three years ago.  Apparently they didn't like what I sent.  It seems that in the States going back to your maiden name requires a court order, but that's not the case in Canada, so I didn't have a court order to send with my application.  Bad Suzy.

So I have to drive to the nearest US Consulate, which is in Calgary.  Fortunately, that's only a three hour drive one-way.  I say fortunately, because that consulate office covers three provinces, so it could've been a much longer trip if I were living in Saskatchewan or Manitoba!  I am going to have to get up super early and hit the road no later than 7 AM, though.  At least I should have good weather, which is no guarantee this time of year.  The building I have to go to is on a main road, so it should be fairly easy to find, but I'm kind of anxious about that part too.

I keep having to remind myself that I'm not in trouble.  I'm a citizen, so it's not like I'm in danger of them refusing me a passport, especially since I still have my current one with my married name.  This has nothing to do with Canada, so it's not like I'm in danger of being kicked out of the country.  It's just an issue with the name change, that's all.  Now if I can just convince my stomach of that.

Oh, and to make this at least a partly enjoyable trip, I found a yarn store in Calgary not far from the consulate.  I'll be going there before I head back home.  Assuming I don't get arrested or something.

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Sunday, November 06, 2011

I Don't Ask for Much

I'm a little peeved right now.  I mentioned a little while ago that Ginny has a new boyfriend.  I actually met him a few weeks ago, and he seemed like a nice guy.  I totally understand that Ginny having a boyfriend means that she'll have less time to hang out with me.  It would be the same with me if the tables were turned.  What ticks me off is when I'm just blown off completely because of the boyfriend.  This has come up before with Ginny.  Maybe I'm more sensitive to it because it's come up before, or maybe I'm getting ticked off about it that much quicker.  We had exchanged a few texts about getting together this weekend, although we didn't make any firm plans.  She had a really crappy week at work, so I knew she'd probably just want to hang out, which is usually what we do anyway.  But I haven't heard from her since Friday.  I even sent her a text yesterday asking what her plans were for this afternoon.  Even now, I've gotten no reply.  If she wants to spend the whole weekend with her bf, that's okay, I just wish she'd let me know.  Just send me a text saying that she's feeling down and wants to stay in with John.  Or something along those lines, you know?  My issue isn't that we're not spending the time together, although I do miss it.  What really bugs me is that I just don't hear from her so I don't know if we're going to make plans together or not.

Am I crazy?  Am I asking too much?

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That's what I'm sayin'

This secret says it all.


Wednesday, November 02, 2011

Where everyone knows my name

Back in August, the yarn store I usually go to had a new kind of yarn - Manos Maxima - but they only had it in one colour.  For some reason they'd only gotten one colour and the others that they ordered were coming later.  The yarn was pretty and wonderful to the touch.  So I bought a couple skeins.  Here's how the scarf came out:

I had enough left to make a little headband as well.  I'm going to be sending them to a cousin in Oklahoma.  She has dark red hair and it will look so wonderful on her.  Plus the fact that I just adore her!

Anyway, I knew the store was going to be getting more of the Manos Maxima and I kept bugging one of the owners about it.  She's part of our group that hangs out at the store on Wednesday nights, so we're kind of friends.  Well, last week she said that they'd gotten the rest of the Manos Maxima and it would be put out on Tuesday, November 1st.  I just about jumped up and down with excitement!

The store owner also said that her husband sewed a Halloween costume for her, a kind of Maid Marian dress, and that she was going to wear it at the store on Monday (Halloween Day).  A couple people said they might stop by the store to see it.

So, I thought I would stop by the store towards the end of the day on Monday.  I was hoping that the store owner would be willing to let me buy some more Manos Maxima if it was the day before it was going to be set out.  That way I could see her costume and get the yarn all in one trip!

It's not a big store and so I know everyone who works there.  When I arrived on Monday, the store owner was on the phone, but she waved.  The other woman working that day said, "Hi, Suzy!  How are you?"  She and I chatted for a little while.  When the owner finished, she came to the back where we were and immediately said, "Suzy's here for the Maxima!"  She went straight to the stock room and came back with all the new colours.  As I started looking at them, she explained how after she sent out the November newsletter on Saturday (which included info about the new Maxima) she instructed everyone that the Maxima was not to be put out in the store until the 1st OR until I had the chance to look at it!!  Can you believe that?  I have to admit that it made me feel REALLY special that they were going to try to give me first dibs on this yarn!  And I DID get first dibs!  There were seven new colours, so I bought two skeins each of three new colours.  Beautiful, gorgeous colours...

I can't wait to knit with these wonderful yarns!!

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