Self-Identity
Have any of you ever watched the show Say Yes to the Dress: Big Bliss? I love all versions of the show, so I've been a loyal watcher of this one too. For those who don't know what I'm talking about, it's a show about women searching for their wedding dress and this particular version is about plus-sized ladies. There are a number of plus-sized women on this show (and in life in general) who are very proud and vocal about their size.
I am not one of those women.
Back in September, when I was in Houston with my mom, visiting her youngest brother and his family, I had a conversation with my mom and uncle about his daughter, my cousin, who is 14. She is pretty, smart, athletic, etc. but can we all agree that 14 is just an awkward age? Especially for girls? Anyway, my uncle was talking about trying to make sure that she had good self-esteem and wasn't overly wrapped up in appearances. I mentioned how, despite always being overweight, I never seemed to have that issue as a teenager. I thought it had to do with the fact that I knew appearances weren't everything and, more than that, I knew that I had a lot to offer. I knew I was relatively smart, I knew I made people laugh, I knew that people liked being my friend and that they liked being around me. That's not to say I never had my insecurities, but some other kid calling me fat just never bothered me much. So I told my uncle that making sure that my cousin knowing she's good and enough as a person is, in my opinion, really important.
So how does all this fit together?
That was the question I'd been wondering about lately. Why am I not one of those women who's "loud and proud" about my size?
I pondered.
I came to the conclusion that being plus-sized is not part of how I see myself. It's not part of my self-identity. If you asked me to describe myself, I wouldn't likely include anything about my appearance unless you specifically asked. Maybe it's because appearances aren't permanent. Maybe it's because, to me, appearances aren't the important part. Maybe there's something else to it.
I love that my size, my appearance, isn't part of my self-identity. It's how it should be. However, I think it also makes it easy for me to ignore that it's a problem. I know I'll never have a terrific figure, and that's okay. But I also know that being the weight I am now is not healthy.
Now I just need to get off my big butt and do something about it!
I am not one of those women.
Back in September, when I was in Houston with my mom, visiting her youngest brother and his family, I had a conversation with my mom and uncle about his daughter, my cousin, who is 14. She is pretty, smart, athletic, etc. but can we all agree that 14 is just an awkward age? Especially for girls? Anyway, my uncle was talking about trying to make sure that she had good self-esteem and wasn't overly wrapped up in appearances. I mentioned how, despite always being overweight, I never seemed to have that issue as a teenager. I thought it had to do with the fact that I knew appearances weren't everything and, more than that, I knew that I had a lot to offer. I knew I was relatively smart, I knew I made people laugh, I knew that people liked being my friend and that they liked being around me. That's not to say I never had my insecurities, but some other kid calling me fat just never bothered me much. So I told my uncle that making sure that my cousin knowing she's good and enough as a person is, in my opinion, really important.
So how does all this fit together?
That was the question I'd been wondering about lately. Why am I not one of those women who's "loud and proud" about my size?
I pondered.
I came to the conclusion that being plus-sized is not part of how I see myself. It's not part of my self-identity. If you asked me to describe myself, I wouldn't likely include anything about my appearance unless you specifically asked. Maybe it's because appearances aren't permanent. Maybe it's because, to me, appearances aren't the important part. Maybe there's something else to it.
I love that my size, my appearance, isn't part of my self-identity. It's how it should be. However, I think it also makes it easy for me to ignore that it's a problem. I know I'll never have a terrific figure, and that's okay. But I also know that being the weight I am now is not healthy.
Now I just need to get off my big butt and do something about it!
rambled by This Suzy at 5:23 PM
2 Comments:
I agree with you so much. I personally have fluctuated a lot in my size over the years; up and down, mostly up. But I have never been selfconscious about it and have never gloried in it,either.
I've always thought of myself as attractive from the inside. I like to think that beauty shines from the personality and the soul. I genuinely don't see people's physical appearance as registering at all in how attractive they are.
It's a really happy way to live, I think.
I love this post! And need to live more like this...I'm always so concerned with everything about my appearance, and even tend to make excuses before anyone can judge. "I know, I could be more toned...blah, blah." It's gross, and only I can change my attitude about it.
Bravo! I'm inspired :)
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