Thursday, January 05, 2012

It's a New Year

I know that title seems rather obvious, but I mean that in more ways than one.  Ever since I've returned from Ohio, I've been feeling good.  Just good.  Optimistic, hopeful, strong.  I feel better than I've felt in a long time.  I've had good days, but it's not always consistent.  This somehow feels different now.  

Part of what's different is that, for the first time in... well, ever... I don't feel all that compelled to try to find a man.  I mean, if it were to happen, great.  But I'm fine on my own.  Maybe part of it is the fact that I haven't come across a lot of men in Edmonton that I'm impressed with, so I don't have any big hopes of finding someone who's worth my time.  But I think it's more than that.  Maybe I finally know that I'm enough on my own.

As part of wanting to make this a good year, I know that part of that means doing the right thing.  Tim called tonight for the first time in a few weeks.  I had already decided that I needed to change our relationship.  It needs to be a friendship and nothing more.  So that I what I told him tonight.  That this is not who I want to be.  I don't want to be the kind of woman who has an affair with a married man.  He said he'd been thinking about it too, and that he agreed.  It's not the right thing to do.  We promised at the beginning that no matter what happened we'd remain friends and remain in touch, and we repeated that tonight.  So we'll still talk when we're able, but it'll be strictly as friends, and that makes me happy.

I don't know what's going to happen this year.  Maybe something big, maybe not.  Either way, I know I'm good and I'm enough.

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Blogger KJ Ordinary said...

Good for you! Must be something in this 2012 air- happy changes all around. Good things ahead. Very good things :) xoxo

January 14, 2012 3:56 AM  

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