Tuesday, May 01, 2012

Groundhog Day

Ginny just changed her Facebook status from "single" to "in a relationship."

It was just over a month ago that I went to her place because she was freaking out because her recent ex-bf was threatening suicide.  Remember that?  It was only a couple weeks before that when she told me that, if and when that relationship ended, she was going to go on a six-month self-imposed "man fast."  Remember that one?

So now I'm just ticked.  She hadn't even said anything about dating someone and now she's in a relationship?  Last I knew she had said, after the last psycho bf, that she wasn't even interested in men right now.  I thought that was a smart thing.

A month later, she's not dipping her toe in the pool, she's in a relationship?

It finally occurred to me that I think part of what frustrates me so very much about Ginny and all her boyfriends is the fact that she doesn't really date around and take her time.  She literally JUMPS into relationships.  Why not take your time?  Why not hang out, date, get to know each other?  I really don't get it.  Not to mention the fact that it feels like Ginny isn't learning a flippin' thing from all these stupid decisions, even though she seems to get it at the time.

I don't know what to make of it.  She and I have plans to get together tomorrow night and I'm guessing she'll tell me all about it then.  I'm really not sure what I'll say.  Probably not much because I can't think of anything polite or pleasant to say.  If she says the kind of stuff that I think she's going to say, I don't know how much time we're going to be spending together going forward.  I guess I just don't have much patience with girls that are so completely focused on finding a boy to spend their time with.  What's so wrong with being single?  Why not use that time for yourself?  Why not try to improve yourself instead of repeating your mistakes?

My lack of patience is on me.  I just don't know how to be supportive of someone who... acts like this.  I don't even know quite what to call it.  Isn't self-aware?  Doesn't learn lessons?  Makes finding a man their main mission in life?  I just don't understand.

So, dear readers, what are your thoughts?  What do you think I should do?

Labels: ,


Blogger Bearette said...

I think, while Ginny's behavior is a little troubling, you need to maintain a little distance from it, so it won't bother you so much. I think you can still be friends with her, if you can detach more from her romantic life. Remember, it's her problem...and you want to fix it because you are a good friend. But it's not worth getting frustrated and losing the friendship over.

May 01, 2012 10:08 AM  
Anonymous qc said...

I suppose it really depends on a cold blooded analysis of what she gives to you.

Does she make you feel valued enough to want to put up with her distractions and checking out from your friendship periodically?

For what it's worth, I am a huge believer in taking time to focus on yourself and to sort out your own issues before concentrating on a man and I am so glad I have done so in the past. But just because you and I can do,it doesn't mean that she can and I think that maybe she has a mindset that quantity over quality will mean that one of these 'relationships' sticks.

(Lest I sound too judgemental, I will own up to being 'in a relationship" less than two weeks after I met the boyfriend-soon-to-be-husband but I was single for a few years before that.)

May 01, 2012 2:06 PM  
Blogger This Suzy said...

Well, Ginny & I had dinner tonight, which was planned beforehand. I asked her (casually) if there was a new boy. She said that there is. She said that she's already taken him to meet her parents so that she could get their take on him and that they really liked him. She said she's taking it slow, which I'm not sure I believe, but whatever. I just wasn't upset about it tonight. I think the idea of taking a step back from being involved in her love life is a really good idea. I did tell her I think she's crazy, though!

May 02, 2012 12:18 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home