Wednesday, March 27, 2013

On the Verge

It's getting real, people.

I had been feeling like I was in a holding pattern, a waiting game, here at work lately. Feeling confident that our office would be closing at some point and I would be out of a job, but not knowing when that might happen. The more little clues we got that our office would be closing, the more I felt like I needed to do something and not just sit back and let things happen to me.

So last week I got to thinking about writing a letter to my boss to simply say that, from various indicators, I believe that the office in Edmonton will be closed at some point, and I would appreciate as much notice as possible since I plan on moving back to the States. Monday morning I typed out that exact letter and I asked my two coworkers here, Angie & Sylvia (Shauna resigned and her last day was last week) to read it to see what they thought. They both thought it was good, so I left it for a day, then re-read it on Tuesday to make sure I still liked it, and emailed it to my boss. I asked that he read the letter and that I looked forward to hearing from him at his earliest convenience.

I still haven't heard from him. Angie, however, sure has. She's worked here for ten years and is the senior-most person in our office. She and our boss spoke for a good 45 minutes at least. Apparently our boss spilled the beans to her, but asked that she keep it secret from Sylvia and me. He clearly doesn't understand what it means to work in a small office of only women!

Essentially, this is what the boss said: he - and possibly his boss as well - is going to be traveling to Edmonton next Wednesday. Angie submitted her resignation nearly two months ago, but agreed to stay on to help with the transition since she's going to be taking some time off and is not immediately moving on to another job. So Sylvia and I will be let go with some sort of severance and they're going to close the office THAT DAY. I believe my response was "holy crap!!"

Now the wheels are in motion. My plan right now is to move back to the States - going to Mom's house initially - at the end of May. To try to do it at the end of April would just be too quick, but I don't want to pay any more rent than I need to at this point. I called Mom last night to tell her what was happening. Of course, since none of this is actually official yet, I'm not telling anyone other than her. But since she's planning on coming up here to help me move back, this obviously affects her too.

Can you believe how quickly this is all happening?

Even though I'm not supposed to know, I'm really glad that I do. Now I know what to expect and what kind of time frame I'm dealing with. Now I've got something definitive to work with.

The thing I'm really pleased about is that I'm actually not going to have to keep working right up until I move. It gives me a lot more time to just pack and get things in order. It makes it a little easier to meet up with people I want to see one more time before I go. It also gives me the chance to make that last trip to the mountains. I don't know how much severance I'll be getting; legally they only owe me one week's pay since I haven't even worked here a full year. But Angie said she got the feeling (although our boss didn't specifically say anything) that Sylvia and I will be treated well. In my case, I'm hoping that means I'll get a month or two. Either way, I'll probably end up going on unemployment for just a month or two to hold me over, especially since I don't know how much longer my health insurance will last and that's what covers all of my prescriptions.

So that's the latest. When Angie told us all of this, I was a little shocked that they were closing the office so soon, but I was mostly excited. I got kind of emotional on my drive home from work, though, just thinking about the fact that his means that this chapter of my life is truly coming to an end. I know that's my choice, and I don't doubt it for a second, but it's still a big deal, you know?

I'm on the verge of moving on!

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Monday, March 18, 2013

What I'll Miss

In one of my initial conversations with Mom after deciding that I'll be moving back to the States, she asked me what I'll miss about Edmonton.  I couldn't answer her because I started to cry.  When I recovered a bit, I told her I'd send her an email.  The following is what I sent her.

As you guessed, I've definitely already thought about what I'll be leaving behind whenever I move south. Of course, a number of those things - if not all of those things - have shaped what I'm looking for in a new city, whether it's something that I want or something I'm happy to leave behind.

I definitely plan on telling people that I'm moving once it's certain. I'll tell my former coworkers that I've kept in touch with: Lizzy, Gale, & Heather. I'll tell my knitting ladies. I'll tell XM since I feel like he should know. Other than that, I don't know who else would care or need to know, in terms of personal contacts.

You know, when I first kind of decided that this would be a good time to move back, I was getting really excited about the thought of it. But when I thought about not being able to go to the mountains anymore, it literally stopped me in my tracks and I started to cry. Every single time I think about it since then, I cry a little, as you heard on the phone. It's kind of funny, really, considering that I'm not really there that often. Last year, I only went once - with you. Even the year I went more than usual, for my own trips, I still only went three times. Maybe I'm just sad that I won't have "easy access" to it all any more.

So, if you haven't already guessed, I do plan to make one more trip out there, at some point. Not right away, since I'd at least want to wait for warmer weather, but sometime. Kind of a chance to soak it all in one more time and say good-bye. I mean, it's not like I can't ever go back, but who knows when I'd be able to?

There's really not a ton of things or even people that I'm going to miss once I leave here. Which I guess makes it easier, really.

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Wednesday, March 06, 2013

Decision Made

For any of you who know me at all outside of this blog, I know I've already requested that everything here be kept secret, but let me reiterate that, especially in the case of this post.

I've decided for sure now that if/when this job ends, I'm moving back to the States. When I initially started thinking about this possibility, I found two cities that had a lot of what I was looking for in a place to live. I've been in enough different places that I have quite a few qualifications for where I want to live if I'm just choosing a place, like I am now. One city was more in the west and was the city that Mom and I flew in and out of when we made our trip over New Year's to see Tim and Ann, which means that I'd be about 4-5 hours from them, as well as some other family members in a couple other spots. The other city is more towards the east. It's about three hours south of Mom, Meat, and my hometown. I did a lot of thinking and praying and researching about these two cities.

I'm going east. I plan to move to Kentucky.

There were a few main things that prompted me to make that decision. One is that I would be closer to friends and family than I've been in a long time. As I said, Mom and Meat would be about three hours north of this city. I have an aunt and cousin that are about half way in between. And Jiffy lives a few hours west of this city. I really miss my two best friends and I want to be able to spend more time with them. I hate that their kids are growing up without even knowing me.

Even though I've drawn the line with Tim, I think being that close to him would be too tempting. Even though their home would be 4+ hours away, Tim is often on the road working and would regularly be closer to that city. It's a whole lot easier to do the right thing when the temptation is 2,000 miles away. I'd like to think that I would and could continue to do the right thing were I living in that city, but I also know myself (and Tim) well enough to know that that might not turn out to be true.

I spoke with Tim at one point last week and told him of my decision to live in KY instead of his state. I told him about wanting to be closer to people there, which didn't surprise him at all. But then I also told him that I thought it would be too tempting for both of us. He was disappointed, and said as much, but said that it was probably the right decision. He said that if I were living nearby it would be tempting and there's a good chance we'd get in trouble.

I didn't bother to tell Tim that the city in KY has a much better water quality and that there are many more doctors per person there than the western city. Something told me that he wouldn't care much about those factors.

Of course, this is all up in the air since I have no idea what's going to happen with my job here. Based a couple little things I've learned just in the last week or so, I have an even stronger feeling that my job here is going to end sometime in the next six months. At this point, I wouldn't be completely surprised if they closed this office entirely. So, my gut says that I'll be out of a job before long, but that's really just a big fat guess. I have no idea what's going to happen.

I do know that it finally feels like time to move on.

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