Monday, October 21, 2013

Possible Thorn in My Side

I would say that, so far, my new job is going well.  This is the start of my second full week.  (My first day was a Thursday.)  The job is something I can handle, and I have to admit that it's fun to work with someone I already know.  I mean, I've been harassing my boss from day one, which is something I've never been able to do before!  Andrew and I are getting along great and the other guy that works out of this location - Cris - seems really nice and I don't think I'll have any problems working with him.  Both guys are on the road periodically, so there are times when I'm here by myself, although I think typically at least one of them will be here.  Andrew's one brother (Gene), who's also a good friend of mine, will be in this office about one week a month doing training for new hires, so I'm working with him some too, which has been fun so far.  Things are a little slow as far as the work itself, but I know it'll come.  I suspect in another couple months, I'll be kept really busy, so I'm not worried.  I'm trying to enjoy not being overwhelmed.

So, it all sounds really good, right?

For the most part, it is.  I really only have one small complaint, and this complaint doesn't have anything to do with the job itself.  It has to do with Andrew's wife, Kristy.  As you may recall, I spent some time with her soon after I came back from Edmonton.  At this point, I've spent several hours with her, one on one, as well as numerous shorter conversations at church.  In that time I've noticed one overwhelming thing about Kristy: she only seems to be able to talk about herself or, at the biggest stretch, things that relate to her.  I'm not kidding.  In all of our time and conversation, she's never once asked me anything about myself.  Not once.  And frankly, if that's how someone is, they're never really going to be a friend of mine and I'm not terribly interested in spending a lot of time with them.

It's hard enough trying to be nice to her and have conversations with her - that are ONLY ABOUT HER - at church.  In most cases, it wouldn't even matter that much that her husband is my boss, because she's nice enough that I can get along with her well enough.  What I'm struggling with is that, so far, she has come by the office EVERY SINGLE DAY that Andrew's here.  This is my eighth day of work.  Andrew was gone three days last week.  Kristy has come by all of the other five days.

Granted, she doesn't stay a long time and in at least half of the cases, she even had a legit reason for stopping by.  But the other times?  Yeah, I kind of think it was a load of crap.

I don't think it's a case of her being suspicious of me and/or Andrew and that something is going to happen between us.  He and I were really, really good friends 20 years ago and I would still say he's a good friend of mine, although we haven't spent a lot of non-working time together in years, so we don't know each other as well.  And while I had a thing for him back in the day, he's never once shown that kind of interest in me and I don't feel that way about him now.  I think Kristy knows that Andrew wouldn't do anything out of line, so I don't think that that's why she's showing up.

Personally, I think she hates that this office exists now because it means she's out of the loop and things are less about her.  The really sad thing is that I don't even think she realizes how self-centered she is; I think all of this is subconscious.

Andrew has been working out of his home since before he and Kristy were married (which has now been four or five years).  She's used to him being around... which makes it easier for her to have his attention.  Truth be told, I have no doubt that she's not getting as much attention as she'd like (or as much as I'd like if I were in her shoes) because Andrew spends so much time working.  So in that regard, I kind of feel bad for her.  I don't think the kids get enough attention either.  I'm hoping that as I take on more, I'm able to take more off of Andrew's plate, which will give him more time at home.  But it's never going to be perfect and I think he'll always be a busy guy.  And it was like this when they met, so it's not like it's something new that's come up since they were married.

Anyway, I think Kristy just wants attention, but I'm finding that I just have less and less patience to deal with her.  Even today when she showed up (I have no idea why), she's just standing in the doorway to my office for a while, even though I'm about to eat lunch.  So I ask how her weekend was, which she proceeds to tell me.  I tell her to pardon me while I take drugs (my insulin shot).  I don't care if she watches, which she does.  I stop talking, pretending to concentrate, hoping she'll go away.  She doesn't go away, and even though this would be a great opportunity for her to ask something about me (Does it hurt?  How long have you been diabetic?), she doesn't do that either.  She waits for me to finish, then starts talking about herself.  Again.

If I only saw her at church, this wouldn't be nearly as big of a deal, it wouldn't bother me nearly as much.  But if she comes by the office every single day, that means that I'm dealing with her six days a week (the five work days and Sundays).  I'll only get one non-Kristy day!!  I told Andrew on day one that I didn't want this office to be the new hang out for family or church people.  I told him that I don't care if people stop by, but if they try to just hang out for a long time in my office, I'll have to ask them to leave, because I'm here to work.  As I said, Kristy doesn't stay for long, so it's not like I can tell her that she's interrupting my work, especially since I don't have a lot to do right now anyway.  In the end, as long as Andrew's okay with her stopping by every day, I have to be okay with it too.

At least I really like everything else about my new job!

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