Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Sometimes decisions are made FOR you

In my last few posts, there's been a lot of back and forth as to what my relationship with Mason will be.  It's now been decided, and decided for good.  He got the first set of test results back and he is positive for something - herpes, to be exact.  It's HSV 1, which I guess is also considered oral herpes.  It's actually somewhat common and it's the virus that causes cold sores, so you know there's a lot of people who have it.

While I haven't been tested, especially since being with Mason, I doubt that I have it since I have never exhibited a single symptom.  I might still get tested, just to know for sure, but I'm not terribly worried.  Either way, Mason's not someone I could ever see building a life with, so it's sure not worth trying to pursue anything with him at this point.  Therefore, Mason and I are strictly friends from now on.  He thought I was just going to tell him to fuck off once he told me he had herpes.  I told him I didn't see why I would, that he hadn't done anything to me, and that it was actually a bit of a relief.  Now I don't have to figure out what the heck is going on and if he's jerking me around.  I can just be his friend.  He actually thanked me for still being his friend and said he didn't have very many, which confirmed what I already thought.

So that's that.  He and I have talked a time or two since then, not for any big length of time.  I could see us actually being friends, especially if he does end up moving here.  But there will definitely not be any more benefits.  As I wrote above, it's kind of a relief.  On the other hand, it's disappointing that my "friend with benefits" adventure ended as quickly as it started.  I suppose I might be a little more open to the idea now, but I still don't see it happening again any time soon, if ever.  It's a bummer that just as I finally had sex again, now it stops.

But, hey, maybe I got a new friend out of the deal and that's not so bad.

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Saturday, July 12, 2014

I don't know where it goes from here

After not expecting to hear back from Mason, as I said in my last post, I heard from him the next day.  We texted quite a bit.  Enough, in fact, that I'm not going to type it all out as I did last time.  However, this is the initial text that he sent:

I'm sorry for not talking as much just have a lot going on right now and can't keep up as much as I should with anything as I should, but no worries everything will be kept between us as it should and will always stay that way I give you my word.  Hope you have a good day.  :-)

My first thought - beyond "holy run-on sentence, Batman!!" - was just relief to hear from him at all.  From there, I tried to get some idea of what was going on.  Turns out that there was an ex-gf that wanted him back, which I guess was why I hadn't heard from him.  He said he'd done some things that he regretted and needed to get some things checked out.  I asked him if I was one of those things that he regretted, and he said no.  I still felt like I wasn't getting the whole truth from him, so I sent these two texts:

Mason, I don't play games.  I'm just upfront and honest.  So let me be honest with you.

I'm torn right now.  I can't decide if I should be your friend because I really feel like you need a friend, and if there are "benefits" that's fine.  If not, that's fine too.  Or if I'm being jerked around and I should just say screw it and us be nothing more than coworkers.

He then told me that he'd had unprotected sex and needed to get tested.  I'm assuming that the sex was with the off and on gf, partly because I don't really want to think that he's that much of a man-whore that he's just having sex with anyone, and partly because he was very insistent about using protection with me, so I can't imagine him having unprotected sex with someone unless he knew them.

In any case, the meetings at work with the entire division being here went well, although it was exhausting for me.  It was fun, but I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off, not to mention that I didn't sleep well for days because I kept thinking of everything that needed to be done.  But, true to his word, Mason didn't say anything to anyone and didn't do anything unusual in his actions towards me.

He did throw me for a loop on the second day.  I was out in the shop tracking down a couple other guys for something and he came up and asked, "What is rent like around here?"  Um... what?!  I told him to give me a minute, so I could finish what I was in the middle of.  We then went into my office and I even asked him to close the door, partly on the pretense that we wouldn't be interrupted, but also because I kind of wanted to have this conversation in private.

While the guys were here, Andrew had a one-on-one conversation with each of them, just to address any problems, concerns, questions, whatever that they might have.  I guess his conversation with Mason centered around Mason's job going forward.  Unbeknownst to me, Mason has an interest in welding.  Our division does a little welding in our work and we already have a couple welders working for us.  Mason had in mind to take a leave of absence from work, use his GI bill (because he's a former Marine and current Army reservist), and go to welding school.  Then come back to work in our division as a welder, which would be a good thing for the company, since he already has other experience with us.

Lo and behold, one of the best welding schools in the country is right in this area!  I don't know if this was Mason's idea or Andrew's, but between the two of them, they came up with the possibility that Mason could move up here, go to the welding school, and still do a little work for us on evenings and weekends.  That way he can still earn a little money and stay current in our system.

I asked Andrew about it later, and he didn't seem 100% sure that Mason would actually follow through enough to make this happen, but I guess if he does, then Andrew's okay with it.  It wouldn't happen until probably the start of the new year.  But now the possibility exists that Mason will be moving here.

I really don't know what to think of that.

We've had a little more interaction since that conversation, both speaking and via text.  I feel a little better about things between us.  I'm still can't decide if I'm okay with continuing with the "benefits" side of things, but I still feel strongly that Mason could use a friend.  Not to say that he doesn't have friends, but I don't think he has very many, especially close friends.  The crazy thing - OK, one of the crazy things - in all of this is that I have no idea when he'll even be here again.  That's the nature of this work, the guys traveling all the time.  There were some of the guys that I was seeing for the first time in months when they were here for the meetings.

So, I really don't know what happens next.  I think I'm going to just lay low and see what Mason does.  At this point I just feel wary and like I need to be careful.  I'm also still trying to wrap my head around the idea that he might live here.  Oy.

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