Wednesday, November 26, 2014

I'm weak

Well, the affair being over didn't last long.  A few days.  Basically, as soon as he got back to town, it was on again.  I seriously don't know what my deal is, but I don't seem to be able to stay away from him.

He's home again now, though, for the Thanksgiving holiday.  I miss him.  I'm really curious as to how things will go for him at home.  Why?  Because apparently his wife is angry that they haven't already moved and didn't speak to him the entire time he was here after the last time he went home - three weeks!  I don't get that.  I think his wife sounds crazy and immature.  This is a marriage, there will be problems.  You discuss them, you deal with them, you don't just give someone the silent treatment.  Anyway, I don't hear from Lover at all while he's home, for obvious reasons, so I won't know until he gets back how things went.

I still struggle every day with what I'm doing, this relationship that I'm in, whatever it is.  With him being gone, with no communication from him, it makes it that much harder.  How much longer can I do this?  And if his marriage stays intact long enough for his family to move here, then it's going to have to end anyway.  It's like I know I'm setting myself up for heartache, but I can't break away.

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